


Make me Sway

by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)



Series: Don't Let's Start Adjacent [6]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 5 Things, M/M, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-01 07:13:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13993152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticReactions/pseuds/BossToaster
Summary: 5 times Lance realized he was in love with Ryou.Picks up right where Save the Last Dance left off.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For a very lovely individual who did me a kindness, and then asked for a sequel to Save the Last Dance.
> 
> So, fun fact: I can totally be bribed. Keep that in mind.

Lance stumbled into the dining room, both his hands scrubbing over his face.  His eyes ached from the lights of the castle, adding to the throbbing headache he was sporting.  He’d drank a couple of glasses of water before bed, but it hadn’t been enough to ward off his hangover.

Really, Lance shouldn’t even be dealing with this.  He’d had, like, a glass and a half. Not quite two. At this point, he was willing to claim they’d all been drinking hard liquor.  It was a lie, but it was a lie he thought most people would appreciate, considering how hard the alcohol had hit them all.

When he dropped his hands, he saw that the only other people up were Shiro and Ryou.  They sat on opposite sides of the table, a bowl of goo in front of each. Shiro looked as put together as ever, but Ryou’s hair stuck up in the back, and he was slumped slightly in his seat.

“Morning,” Lance greeted, waving at them both.  “Anyone else up yet?”

“Allura is,” Shiro replied, idly stirring his bowl of goo.  “But she’s training, at the moment.”

Ah.  That would be code for ‘working on her magic while no one else was around to see.’  Lance could appreciate that. Normally he’d go to help, but he didn’t think he could do much for her right now.  Besides, Allura was fine on her own. Lance seemed to squirrel under his discomfort with an audience while she struggled, but she was still shy about trying brand new tricks with him in the room.

It was cute.  Enough to make his heart jump a little in his chest, even now.

But someone else in the castle did that better.

Stepping over to Ryou, Lance ran his fingers through his hair.  “You’ve got a cowlick back here.”

“I do?”  Ryou smoothed both hands over the curve of his skull, accidentally knocking Lance’s fingers away.  “Ugh. I should have showered this morning.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Shiro offered.  “I thought it was a new way of looking different.”

Eying him, Ryou rolled his eyes dramatically.  Then he glanced up and caught Lance’s eyes. He didn’t blush, but there was a sheepish curl to his shoulders.  “Hey. Sleep well?”

Lance smiled back, his own cheeks heating.  “Like a log. You?”

“Alright.”

There was a long pause, where both of them just stared, not quite sure what to say.

Shouldn’t it be easy? They’d danced together, they’d kissed, they said they liked each other.

Except that then they’d been tipsy.  It was easy to say those things then, and far harder to do it in the cold reality of sobriety.  Maybe Ryou had been swept up in the moment, and he just cared for Lance. Maybe he didn’t want a relationship right now, as he continued to develop his own, independent sense of self.

Maybe they were just a pair of awkward idiots.

Swallowing a mouthful of goo, Shiro glanced between them both.  “Everything alright?”

“Uh.”  Ryou didn’t break eye contact with Lance, swallowing nervously.  “I think so?” He drooped slightly, and if he had a tail, it would have been curled between his legs.

Damn them both, because a bashful, unsure Ryou was actually adorable.  It made Lance’s heart catch in his chest, then pick up faster.

So Lance smiled at him, then at Shiro.  “Yeah. Just figuring out how I want to fulfill I promise I made.”

Then, because he was an idiot and it would make Ryou smile, Lance put both his hands on either side of Ryou’s pecs and leaned in, rubbing his face between them.

Across the table, there was a clatter as a spoon fell onto the table.

Lance pulled back, his face bright red but still smiling.  “There. Told you I’d do it sober.”

Ryou stared, eyes wide and mouth half-open.

As he dropped his hands, Lance’s stomach flipped over.  Maybe that had been a joke. Ryou had been tipsy, after all, and he may not have meant what he said at all.  Or worse, he was drunker than Lance had thought, and he didn’t remember the conversation at all, so Lance had just suddenly motorboated him one morning.

“I-” Lance began.

Then Ryou burst out laughing.  “You did it!” He said, nearly wheezing out the words between chuckles.  One hand pressed against his chest, and the other smacked hard on the table. “You actually- in front of Shiro!”  He turned and beamed at Shiro, ignoring his own pink cheeks.

Shiro continued to stare.  His ears had gone bright red, and he looked between them both like he’d never seen them before.  “What was that?”

Ryou snickered before Lance could pull himself together and apologize.  “It’s called motorboating. I know you know what it is. You’ve been on the internet.”

“That’s not what I meant!”  Shiro covered his face one hand and groaned.  “This is a public place.”

“Not really.  It’s the kitchen where we live, that’s not public.”

“I had to see it!”

Letting out another round of laughter, Ryou put his hands on Lance and beamed up at him.  “Mmm. Nah, don’t care, Shiro. Live with it.” His eyes softened as he stared up at Lance, his cheeks flushed with laughter and his eyes bright and admiring.

Lance’s heart caught again.  “Are we good?” He asked softly.

Ryou’s brows rose.  “Yeah. I think we need to talk this morning, but we’re good.”  He glanced sideways at Shiro again, his gaze going sly. “Can I kiss my boyfriend good morning, or is that too much PDA for you too?”

“Kissing is not on the same level as-” Shiro froze as the words fully registered.  “Oh. You- Boyfriend? You two?”

“I think so.  Are we?” Ryou smiled up at him again, this time nervous.  “Sorry, I probably shouldn’t have used that word without asking.  You, uh- you want to…?”

Lance cupped Ryou’s jaw on both sides, then pulled him up as he leaned in.  Their lips meet in the middle.

It wasn’t as long as their first, but neither of them needed to adjust.  Instead, it was a soft, easy slide of their lips. Ryou’s were warm and dry under Lance’s, without any rush.

When Lance pulled back, he pressed their foreheads together and beamed at him.  “Boyfriends is good.”

“Good.”

“You need chapstick, though.  Or more water.”

From his chair, Shiro snickered.  

Without looking, Ryou picked up his spoon and threw it.  It clattered to the ground, and Shiro laughed again. Then he leaned up for another peck.  “Why would I get chapstick of my own when I can just get it from the source?”

Lance laughed.  “Very smooth.”

That earned him a flash of a smile.  “I told you that I could help you with your lines.”

Lance smoothed his hands over Ryou’s sleeves and raised his brows.  “My lines are great. I landed you, didn’t I?”

“Oh.”  Ryou blinked rapidly, processing that.  “You’re right. Shoot. Guess it’s too late to take it back?”

“Yes,” Lance said.  “Definitely. Way too late.”

“Ah, well.”  Ryou leaned in for another kiss, this one softer.  “I’ll just have to live with it. Oh, no.”

Lance grinned back.  “Poor you.”

He held there, heart pounding, hands on Ryou’s forearms, grinning like an idiot, and getting smiled at in return.  It should have been awkward again, but Lance’s heart was too light for that. 

There was still a gleeful flush to Ryou’s cheeks, both from the earlier joking and their flirting now.  Lance had never seen him - either of them - look so boyishly excited about anything. Like Lance had personally handed him the sun, and now Ryou got to bask in it.  

Boyfriend.  Ryou was his  _ boyfriend.  _  Just the word made Lance’s chest feel too tight, like he wasn’t large enough to hold the swell of affection and adoration that filled with him.

Lance had never had a crush on someone that felt like this before.

This-

Holy shit, was he in love?

Could Lance be in love with someone he’d only been dating for about 8 hours?  Was that ridiculous? He’d known Ryou for months now, though, so that had to count for something.  Obviously, Lance loved everyone on the team, but to be in love so fast…

“Okay,” Shiro finally interjected, making them both start.  Lance had genuinely forgot he was there in the last few seconds, which he’d thought only happened in corny novels.  “I’m happy for you two. Honestly. This is very cute. But are you actually going to eat your breakfast?”

Ryou reached down for his spoon, then froze as he remembered he’d thrown it across the room.  “Oh. Uh. I’ll get- I need a new spoon. I can get you a bowl while I’m up?” He took Lance’s hand in his and gave it a little squeeze.

“That’d be nice, yeah.”  Lance tried and failed to fight off a blush.  It was such a simple thing, but it had a whole new meaning today.  Maybe it wouldn’t once the newness wore off, but it was so domestic.  “Thank you.”

“No problem.” Giving him a last peck, Ryou stood, then headed into the kitchen.  His steps were just a touch too fast as he ducked past the door.

If Lance knew Ryou, and he was pretty sure he did, he was using the moment to regroup in private.  It was a bit of a rush, to know he had so much effect on someone.

Finally taking a seat, Lance watched him go, chin resting on his palm and smiling helplessly.

Shiro took another bite, watching him carefully.  “This happened last night? Or did I miss something.”

“Yeah.  When everyone was leaving.”  Lance took a deep breath, forcing himself to sit up straight and not watch the door for Ryou’s return.  “It’s not going to affect anything in Voltron, by the way. We can be adults about this.”

“I’m not worried about that.”  Shiro paused, then sighed. “Alright, yes, I am a little worried about it.  But just in general. I think you can handle it. Besides, this was inevitable.  So few humans together in such a tight space. I’ve been expecting dating or otherwise to happen since day one.”  

Oh, huh.  That was fair, actually.  With the benefit of his slight distance from the cadets, Shiro would have seen this coming.  Lance had honestly not really thought about it. At first, there had been so few options: Shiro, who was honestly way out of his league. Keith, who he’d spent most of their time together fuming over. Hunk, who was his brother in all but blood.  And Pidge, who seemed to be nothing but irritated by them all at the Garrison. Then there was Allura, of course, who also was in another league, but Lance was willing to at least give it a shot. How often did he get a shot at a beautiful alien princess?

Since then, things had changed a lot.  They had more people on board, for one, and everyone was closer.  After a while, Lance was so used to thinking of everyone as a team rather than romantic options that he’d focused completely outside of Voltron.  With exception was that crush on Allura, he’d only been looking for people outside the team.

Until Ryou had completely shaken everything up.

“Okay, well, we’ll be good about it,” Lance said.  “Or, I mean, we will during missions and stuff. I’m not promising anything during breakfasts.”

Shiro ducked his head.  “As long as this morning’s greeting doesn’t become standard, I’ll live.”

“Aww, I was thinking that could be our secret handshake.”

Eying him flatly, Shiro reached for his water and took a long, fortifying sip.  “We’ll ease into it. Start with a couple of easy missions with you two, if we can.  Just in case.”

Lance sighed and nodded. “Fine.  Is this also the part where you give me the shovel talk?”

Shiro froze, brows up.  “Why would I do that?”

“Because he’s your twin?”  Lance shrugged. “I dunno, it’s a thing that happens, right?”

Shiro considered him, head tilted.  “I don’t think I need to. You two will figure it out or you won’t.  That’s your business. And I know you’re a good guy and that you care about him, so I’m not worried about it.  But, well, you’re liable to learn about my love life during this, just because that’s also Ryou’s. Please keep it private.”

Right.  That would be how Ryou set boundaries and knew what he liked, even if all those memories were technically Shiro’s.  

“Promise,” Lance said.  “Everything stays between us.  I’ll even try not to look at you weird when I know all your secret kinks.”

Shiro shot him a flat look.  “Thank you,” Shiro said.

The door opened, and Ryou came back through, carrying two spoons and a bowl.  He dropped the goo in front of Lance with a grin, then lean in to kiss his cheek.

“Thanks,” Lance said, flushing again.  “After breakfast, want to have that talk?”

“Sounds good.  I’m guessing we’re not going to have training after, right?”  Ryou shot Shiro a hopeful look.

Shiro didn’t look up, but he snorted. “I should.  You don’t know when you’ll need to form Voltron with a hangover.”

Ryou rolled his eyes.  “Don’t be mean on purpose.  Hangover is a strong word anyway.  Is that a no?”

“Go ahead and talk.”

Smiling, Ryou reached down between their chairs and caught Lance’s hand in his.  He gave it a firm squeeze, and the look he sent Lance was giddy and adoring.

Lance’s own heart picked up again, and he could have melted onto the floor.

Definitely love.  Definitely doing this too fast.

But as long as Lance didn’t blab out how far gone he was, what was the harm in that?


	2. Chapter 2

“Let’s see,” Ryou murmured, running his finger over the projected screen to scroll.  “What are you in the mood for?”

Lance leaned over his side, watching the movie titles flip by.  “I dunno, I can’t read them that fast.”

That earned him a flat look.  “I kinda meant, like, genre. What generally are you in the mood for?”

Oh.  Lance rested his head against Ryou’s bicep, and went bonelessly limp over the couch.  “Should we do something romantic? If we’re doing this is a date, then that’s what you’re supposed to do.”

Ryou sighed softly.  “I guess.” He glanced down and ran his hand down Lance’s back.  “I’m almost tempted to say this isn’t a date. As far as first dates goes this feels… lacking?  I feel like we should be making a big deal out of it. Maybe our first real date should be on a planet somewhere.  Or at least the Space Mall.”

Brows up, Lance eyed him right back.  “Why? I like movie dates.”

“Movie dates are one thing.  But that should be, you know, taking you to a movie.  Buying your ticket and getting you snacks. Sitting in the same seat even after we paid a stupid amount for both.”  Ryou shrugged the shoulder that Lance wasn’t leaning on. “A real date-date.”

Lance pushed himself back up, frowning.  “Why isn’t this a date-date? Why do we have to spend money for it to be a date?”

“Not spending money specifically.  Just… we do this all the time. We did this constantly before we dated.”  Ryou kicked his feet, his heel smacking on the front of the couch with a dull thud.  “I just want it to be special. Other dates can be just this. Not the first.”

Considering him, Lance hooked one arm around Ryou’s, then went back to leaning against him.  “Can I ask a Shiro question?”

The sudden change in topic made Ryou pause.  “Yeah, sure. What do you want to know?”

“How much dating he’s done.  That you remember.” Lance rested his cheek on Ryou’s shoulder.  

Ryou wrinkled his nose, then looked away.  “A few girlfriends. A boyfriend or two. He wasn’t so much for dating.  Busy guy. Why, do I sound like an idiot?”

Lance’s lips quirked up.  He reached up and tapped Ryou’s nose to make him relax it.  “Not an idiot. I don’t have even that much experience, honestly.  But you sound kind of like I did on my first date. Freaking out over if it was enough. I ended up bringing her a bouquet of flowers and a necklace to our mall hangout.  It freaked her out a little.”

“I think that sounds nice,” Ryou said, distinctly sulky.  “I want to do that for you.”

“Yeah, but you’re missing the part where I scared her.”  Lance nudged his side. “Relax. You don’t have to make a huge impression.  It’s a date because we’re dating and we’re having fun together. I learned that much.”

Ryou sighed, then dropped a kiss to the top of Lance’s head.  “I guess. Yeah. I just want our first date to be… I dunno. I want to be able to have a story about it later, if anyone asks.  And you deserve something to make you feel special.”

Cheeks going warm, Lance hid his face in Ryou’s shoulder.  Before he’d just been amused, but now he wanted to curl up around a pillow and groan out the happy.  “It is special. It’s us, on a date, alone. How often does that happen?”

“Pretty often when we’re in each other’s room.  But out here? Never.” Ryou smiled down at him, eyes bright and warm.  “You’re right. I know you’re right. I’m just excited.”

Lance finally picked his head up, then strained to give Ryou a kiss on the cheek.  “You’re sweet. Also- Why are you the one paying for all this?”

Ryou opened his mouth, then closed it.  “That’s just how I think of dates? We’re back in Shiro territory.”

Huh.  Lance did his best to push that out of his mind and tried not to dwell on it.  He was curious, because the fact that Shiro paid for all his dates so often it was standard was interesting.  But apparently it was personal, so Lance could let it go.

Instead, he started to scroll through the movies again.  “A rom com, then? Do we have any of those.”

“Eh,” Ryou replied.  “It’s mostly Pidge’s stuff.  She has a couple, but heavy on the com, not the rom.  I’ll be honest, I like some of those movies, but I don’t feel like we need to watch one just ‘cause it’s a date.  We’re just having fun while dating, right?”

Caught by his own logic.  Lance gave a wry grin and nodded.  “Yeah, good point. Okay, uh, there’s corny action.  Lots of sci-fi. No Star Trek. I veto Star Trek.”

“Awww,” Ryou whined, leaning more heavily into Lance’s side.  “You don’t want to roleplay the Borg with me? You will be assimilated.”  He nuzzled down to Lance’s neck and pressed kisses there until Lance giggled.  “Resistance to kisses is futile.”

Laughing, Lance put his hand between Ryou’s face and his neck, then shoved him back.  “You’re such a dork.”

“You’re just jealous of our sweet robot cube ships.”

“We live in a flying castle.”

Ryou inclined his head.  “Fair point.”

Rolling his eyes, Lance focused again.  “No Star Trek. Star Wars is good. Basically any sci-fi is good.  Um, I’m not really big on horror. I know it’s an excuse to cling and cuddle but I like my movies fun, not scary.”

Ryou nodded, smoothing a hand up and down Lance’s back again.  “That’s fine. I barely remember any, myself, so I don’t have much of an opinion.  Maybe we can try them out some other time, or I’ll watch them with Pidge. They’re her movies, she probably likes them.  Action is good for me.” 

Action it was, then.  Lance changed the settings, then started over from the beginning.  There were tons of franchises, some a mix of other genres, like fantasy.  He paused over one, his brow furrowing. “ _ Ghost Shark: First Blood. _  Wow.  Oh, wow.”

Letting out a delighted laugh, Ryou nodded.  “Oh, that one sounds terrible. Yes. I’m in.  I’m so in for a bad movie. We can make fun of it and ignore it half the time to kiss.”

That actually sounded ideal.  Lance tapped the selection, and grinned as a large screen appeared in front of the couch.  The opening scene began to play, with establishing shots of a boat that looked like a toy in a puddle, some some truly horrendous shots of a CGI shark in the water.

“This was the best idea,” Ryou breathed, sounding awed.  His arm snaked around Lance’s waist. “This is already my favorite movie.”

Lance’s brows jumped up.  “More than that Nemesis movie?”

Choking, Ryou shook his head.  “No, no, Nemesis isn’t my favorite movie.  That one’s bad, and not even really in a fun way.  It just has a clone as the main character, so it’s funny to joke about.  _  ‘Just the two of us.  Or should I say… just the one of us.’” _  He let out a gleeful snort.  

“Dork,” Lance repeated, just as fondly.  “Did you really memorize a bad movie just to quote it at your brother?”

“Uh, yeah, of course.”

Twisting around, Lance kissed Ryou on the lips.  “You’re ridiculous. I like it.”

Ryou smiled into the kiss.  “Mmm, I better keep it up, then.”  He let go of Lance’s waist so he could put his hands on his hips instead, using that for balance.

Distantly, Lance heard the poorly acted screens from the movie, but he couldn’t care less about the ghost shark right now.  If there was anything he’d learned over the past week and change, it was that Lance could kiss Ryou for hours on end. He was a tease of a kisser, going in for a nip or a lick and then backing off until Lance chased him for more.

So far, Lance had been letting Ryou take the lead.  This was his first relationship, though Lance really wasn’t much better.  Even so, he didn’t want to pressure Ryou and try to encourage him to act a certain way.  Ryou was defensive of the person he’d become, and for good reason. He’d been only been himself for months, and Lance had no desire to accidentally compromise that and pressure him by accident.

Maybe it was overly cautious, but Lance couldn’t help it.  So much of the universe seemed determine to wipe away this one man, either by forcing him to be his brother or by eliminating him completely.  Lance wouldn’t contribute to their ranks. He refused.

And if that meant waiting for Ryou to open his mouth first before deepening the kiss, that was so little to ask.

Ryou pulled back, grinning at the soft clicking noise as their mouths separated.  He fondly brushed Lance’s bangs out of his face. “You’re right. This is a good date.”

“Told you.”  Lance leaned forward to nip his bottom lip.  “Are you saying that just because of the kisses?”

“Well, all I need are your kisses for it to be a good date.  They’re that good.” Ryou’s eyes crinkled with the force of his smile.  “So there.”

Lance grinned back, stomach flipping.  “That’s a change of tune.”

“You convinced me.  With your kisses.”

Shooting forward again, Lance pulled him into a long, wet kiss.  “Flatterer.”

Ryou didn’t answer, leaning forward hungrily for more.  He tilted Lance back with the force of his weight, hands holding Lance close so he didn’t fall onto the couch.

Automatically, Lance’s hands slipped into Ryou’s hair for stability.  He was still in the phase of keeping the strands long, so his fingers ruined the braid and made it all tumble down around his face.

Pressing their foreheads together, Lance gave the strands a gentle tug.  “Can I play with your hair?”

Ryou’s cheeks pinked, barely a dusting.  “You want to? I mean, if you’d like, I’m not complaining.  Do you want to style it or just to play?”

“Just play.”  Lance twisted a strand around his fingers, running his thumb along the strand to enjoy the texture.  “You can put your head in my lap, if you want.”

“Oh, Lance, how forward.”

This time, it was Lance who blushed, and a lot darker.  “Not like that!”

Ryou hummed noncommittally, eyes bright with mischief.  “Alright.” His tone suggested he would bring it up later.  Lance’s heart pounded in his chest at the very idea. He’d been afraid of making their kisses too much, and here Ryou was making these kinds of jokes.

Yeah, Lance was definitely being overprotective.  He didn’t care, though. Not when it helped Ryou.

So he patted his thighs, brows up.  “You want to do this or no?”

Ryou gave him a last kiss and sucked on his bottom lip.  Then he pressed a peck to the tip of Lance’s nose, just to be a brat, and put his head down on Lance’s thigh. 

Such a dweeb.

Lance started by running his fingers through Ryou’s hair, just combing out the slight waves from the braid.  It was novel to get to really feel how silky the strands were. When he helped Ryou with the bleach, he had to wear gloves, so he rarely go the full experience like this.

It was nice.  On a sensation level, it was enjoyable, and Lance liked the implicit trust.  It was domestic, even. Playing with his boyfriend’s hair while they watched a movie.  Simple, but meaningful for that simplicity.

Or Lance was being unnecessarily introspective over some hair.

That in mind, he pressed his fingers to the scalp and started to rub.  At first, Ryou tested, probably startled by the sensation. Then he let out a soft sigh and went totally limp.  There was the slightest of return pressure, as Ryou leaned into the sensation.

_ Cute. _

“You good down there?” Lance asked.

“Mmph,” Ryou mumbled back.  “Mmhmm.”

Lance smiled and continued.  He scrubbed all over Ryou’s scalp, enjoying the occasional, happy groans it earned him.  When he eventually bored of that, he started to twist the locks around his fingers, trying to see how many loops he could get without pulling on Ryou’s scalp.  After that, he braided absently, giving him a dozen small, loose braids on one side of his head. It was fun, and something to do with his hands while he focused on the movie.

Eventually, Lance realized that the soft breathing had deepened and slowed.  When he shifted his legs, Ryou’s head rolled limply with them, and he could feel a slightly colder spot on one thigh.

Ryou had fallen asleep on him during their date.  And drooled on Lance’s jeans.

And Lance was happy about it.  Because Ryou honestly needed the sleep, and Lance was perfectly content sitting around and playing with his hair instead.

On their first date.

Letting his head fall back on the couch, Lance let out a quiet, breathy groan.

He really was in love with Ryou.  Because he would genuinely rather Ryou nap and catch up on his horrible sleep schedule than to have him up to kiss.  Yes, the kissing was amazing, but he’d rather Ryou be happy and well rested.

Lance was so far gone he thought the snoring was endearing.

First date.  The very first date and he was already completely in love.  After he’d teased Ryou for being so nervous about it.

“I’m so boned,” he breathed.


	3. Chapter 3

This had gone about as badly as it possibly could.

Lance wasn’t sure why he was surprised anymore.

Of course when they got a distress signal from an allied planet, they had to respond.  On occasion the rebels took it, but for the most part their forces were spread thin just patrolling and defending against the Galra.  On very rare occasions, the Blade could also help, but almost never on their own, and only because they were close for other reasons. Most of them were on missions, and if anyone was waiting around, it was because of injury or because they were critical on one of the bases.

Which meant that the ‘save us’ messages almost always came down to Voltron.  What were they going to do, say no?

It seemed the Galra had started to figure that out.  No doubt they had informants on just about all of the major refugee planets.  It would be easy to spot a pattern.

So, no, Lance wasn’t surprised that they were being ambushed, not really.

But damn did he hate it.

“From now on, somebody should always stay in a lion,” Lance said, ducking behind the remains of some poor building.  Further down the street, the swarm of drones grew ever closer, firing constantly at whatever moved. 

Most of the team was hidden as well.  Lance could see Pidge curled in a tight ball on the road, behind some sort of large machine.  He had no idea what it was, but she must have figured it out, because she was wrist deep in the mechanics and totally focused.  Allura was close by as well, split between glaring at the bots for a break and watching out for Pidge. Without a long distance weapon, she was basically useless.

Then there was Ryou, nearly pressed against Lance’s back in the tight space.  His eyes darted back and forth under his helmet, no doubt trying to figure out where everyone was.

“Agreed,” he said.  “Especially since we have doubles, now.  Or better yet, no one gets out of their lion until we figure out why the leader suddenly stopped responding.”

That worked for Lance.  He poked his head around the side of the building, then fired rapidly.  At the angle, it was nearly impossible to aim well. One went down from a blow to the chest, and another’s arm shuddered, but otherwise there was no change.

Then there was a flash, and a huge burst of bright yellow energy flew from somewhere behind them.  It slammed into the center of the mass of robots. A chunk of the line was either knocked away or fully destroyed, though more quickly took their place.

“I’m so glad Hunk had the bayard today,” Ryou breathed.  “So, so glad.”

With both of them on the mission, it wouldn’t have been any other way.  Ryou had an built-in weapon and Hunk didn’t. Still, Lance found himself nodding.  His gun at least made a dent, but without Hunk’s weapon they’d be screwed.

Lance tried to peek out again, but this time one of the bots was ready.  He only barely managed to duck back away before he got shot.

“We really need a better plan,”  he said. “How far are we from the lions?”

There was a pause, as Ryou focused on the helmet, waiting for readouts.  It would never come, because somehow the Galra had managed to totally put them on the fritz.  The lack of environmental information sucked. But not having communications could easily be deadly.

Finally, Ryou sighed.  “A mile off? I think I can see the top of Black over those trees, but it’s hard to say.”  

That was a hell of a long way while under constant fire.  They could stay and fight, but at this number someone would probably get hurt.

Lance turned to Pidge, who was still busily working.  “Hey!” He hissed, hand cupped to the side of his mouth.  “Pidge! What is that thing?”

Head popping up, Pidge said something, but it was covered by the sound of blaster fire.  Instead she picked up one hand, and curled it up into the shape of the machine. Then she pushed it forward, then curved around, wobbling from side to side.

Which meant…

Lance had no idea.  

This was probably karma for every time Lance had tried to communicate to Keith with purely hand signals.

But Ryou clapped Lance on the back, then shot Pidge a grin and a thumbs up.  “Nice. That’ll be good.”

“What is it?” Lance asked, as Pidge went back to her work.

Ryou copied the motion Pidge had.  “A ship. Probably a low hovering one, like Keith’s.”

Oh!  How was Lance supposed to get that from that vague movement?  Then again, maybe it was a Holt thing, or something they’d talked about while the whole tech group was off being nerds together.

“We’re not going to all fit on that,” Lance pointed out.  The whole, blocky thing was only about five feet long, and looked like it had seats for two people.  Hell, Lance didn’t think both the twins could fit in those tiny seats.

“We can send someone ahead,” Ryou said.  “Or, heck, Pidge might be planning to just ride it forward like they’re bowling pins.”

Okay, that would be cool.  Lance was on board for that.  He leaned forward and fired off another quick round, then ducked back before he was hit with return fire.  “We still need a plan for the rest of the time.”

Ryou nodded.  “Shiro’s probably working on something.  He didn’t go charging into the center of the fray to punch some robots in the face, which means he’s up to some more convoluted plan.”

That would be so much more comforting if they could just talk over the helmets.  This was the worst.

Another series of shots streaked through the air. This time, a few hit near Allura, who ducked back under cover with a scowl.  But most of them aimed toward Pidge, several just barely missing. The ones that hit the side of the small ship left blackened dents.

Pidge didn’t pick her head up, but her hands started to move even faster, and her eyes were wide behind the glass of her helmet.

“Cover fire,” Ryou said.  “Lance, now.”

“Got it.”  Lance leaned out further than he’d dared in a while and started firing, this time with actual aim.  More bots went down, and there was another blast of yellow energy that knocked out several more. 

Ryou’s hand pressed against the small of Lance’s back, right where the armor ended.  Then he activated his shield and ran forward. He darted across the open space between their cover and the ship, stopping behind Pidge.  Because of the bulk of the machine, he couldn’t place the shield right in front of her, but he did his best to curl his arm around and protect as much of both of them as possible.

Almost as soon as he was in place, more of the bots fired.  The shots either went wide, hit the ship itself, or impacted on Ryou’s shield, protecting them.  It wouldn’t last long, especially since Ryou’s shield protected their left side better than their right.  But it would hold for a minute.

By now, the robots were barely fifty feet ahead and gaining.  But between Lance’s focused shots and Hunk’s big blasts, it was slowing their progress significantly.

Lance’s stomach felt hold and heavy, at the sight of Ryou and Pidge, vulnerable out in the open and huddling against fire.

This was their job, though.  This was what it meant to be a paladin.  To stand up and risk injury or worse in the face of the Galra empire.

That had always been their reality.  But Lance suddenly got why Shiro had wanted to start them off as a couple with easier missions.  It was one thing to put himself in danger. It was another to fight with his friends. He was used to that.

Seeing someone he was in love with taking fire hit Lance somewhere cold and angry.  If he listened to that part of him, Lance thought he could do some selfish things in the name of protecting Ryou.  Not at the expensive the team, probably. But even so.

“Hey!”  Allura suddenly called.  She activated her own shield and stepped out halfway from her hiding place.  “You pieces of scrap metal! You want something to shoot at?” She pulled out her bayard with her other hand.  The whip formed, crackling and bright blue. She snapped it forward, though it only went halfway.

But she definitely got the bots’ attention.  Almost all of them turned and re-aimed at her.  Allura ducked back behind the wall just before a volley of shots hit the rubble, sending pieces of the rock break off.

Lance took advantage of the distraction to keep firing.  He could nearly see the end of the group, now. If they could just thin the herd, then they could really fight back, rather than ducking and hiding.

Head shot, body shot, shoulder, leg, leg, head- each came in front of his scope, and then were blasted apart from Lance’s fire.

He glanced up again, looking for anyone aiming at him, and instead saw one of the bots take careful aim at Ryou and Pidge.

From the unprotected right side.

“Ryou!”  Lance called, already focusing his scope on that robot.  But they were already in position, and he didn’t have a bead on them.  “Take cover!”

From the corner of his eye, Lance saw Ryou pick his head up and look to the robot aiming at him.

Then the bot pulled the trigger.

Ryou only had time to get his hand up in instant, instinctive reaction.

The laser blast impacted in a flash of light.

Ryou went down, crumpled on his side in the dirt.

The world seemed to go still.

What Lance should do was keep firing.  He should take out all those bots in a blaze of furious, righteous glory.  He should have ducked back behind the wall for safety, or ran to Ryou to help protect him.

But none of that happened.  Instead, Lance could only stare at Ryou’s still form in total horror.

Pidge turned, eyes wide and worried.  She reached out to Ryou, mouth open to speak.

But before she reached him, Ryou sat up and shook his head, sending dirt flying.  Then he grinned at her and pushed back up onto the balls of his feet.

Lance still stared, not sure if he was hallucinating.  He just saw Ryou take the blaster hit. How was he smiling like nothing was wrong?  Where was he hurt?

Finally, Ryou looked over and sent him a smile too.  Then his brows came together, and he flicked his hand back, the signal for Lance to step back.

The center of his right palm was a blackened, broken-open mess.

Oh.

Lance finally did stumble back, just as there was a furious roar from behind.  The wind whipped around them as the Yellow Lion suddenly lunged forward, crouched between the buildings Lance and Allura were using to hide behind.  It put him directly over Ryou and Pidge, as he roared again and ducked his head down.

Well, at least Lance hadn’t been the only who thought Ryou was dying.  Either Ryou had thought he was about to go down, or Hunk had saw Ryou collapse as well.

Pidge finally did something with the wiring of the broken ship.  It lit up, then lifted a foot or so off the ground. She slammed the casing closed, eyes bright and vicious, then shoved it forward.  The bots were too focused on the Yellow Lion, and didn’t see the vehicle careening toward them until it was already running over several.

With a lion on their side, the tide of the battle very quickly changed.

Lance leaned back in to do his part, but his eyes were on Ryou the whole time.

***

“It would have been fine if I’d managed to turn the arm on in time.  Whoopsie.” Ryou grinned easily, leaning back in his chair. His left hand held Lance’s, the grip loose and casual.  Other than the damage to his palm, he didn’t seem like he’d been a split second from death. 

Lance didn’t say anything.  He just held into Ryou’s hand, lancing their fingers together.  It earned him a distracted smile, but Ryou’s focus was mostly on the rest of the tech team.

Frowning, Hunk held a scanner over Ryou’s palm.  It beeped and flashed a blue light, which didn’t seem to make him very happy.  “I didn’t realize there was that long of a delay between thought and activation.  The Galra arm is faster than that, isn’t it?”

Ryou shrugged.  “For Shiro? Yeah.  I’m not so sure for me.”  He curled his fingers one after the other. His thumb, pointer, and pinky all worked fine, but the middle and ring fingers barely twitched.  “I think there’s a tiny lag. And even when it’s as fast as possible, it takes about a second to activate fully. The light comes on before the heat, usually.”

Making a grumpy noise, Pidge tapped on the screen.  The results of Hunk’s scan popped up, showing the damage to the palm, larger and brighter than in person.  “Well, we can fix this, but it really should take a shot better than this. Even without being activated.”

Ryou tugged on his other arm, but Lance steadfastly refused to let go.  That earned him a raised eyebrow, which Lance ignored it. “I mean, look at it!  It’s dented and that’s about all. You guys did a great job. The fingers still mostly work.  It didn’t even make a hole all the way through. So it held up a whole lot better than the left arm would have.”

Good thing.  Because if the shot had burst through, it would have hit Ryou in the face.

Lance’s fingers tightened around Ryou’s hand.

Matt flashed him a grin.  “I dunno about that. Your left side had the shield, and it took way more than one blast.  We’ll have to do some more analysis on Shiro’s Galra hand. I know you guys didn’t want to mess with your old arm.  But it might be wise to melt down the casing and use it to reinforce the palm for next time. If you’re going to keep trying to perfect your missile snare skills.”

Face falling, Ryou sighed.  “Not worth it.”

Hunk sat down on the edge of the desk.  “It might be. Anything they might have done to the casing probably won’t survive if we melt it down.”

“Yeah, but the last thing we left in from the other arm didn’t go so well.”  Ryou worked his fingers again, face tense. “Can we just fix it up like normal, and if it happens again, we’ll talk about it?”

There was a pause, then Pidge nodded.  “Yeah. We won’t be able to do that right away anyway.  Let’s get that arm off.” She stepped over to Ryou’s right side and helped him tug up the sleeve.  Once the port was exposed, she pressed something to the side of it, and the arm came loose with a flash of light.

Ryou waved the stump, like he was readjusting to the lack of weight.  “That never stops being weird.”

“Do you not take it off to sleep?” Hunk asked.

“Sometimes,” Ryou said.  “I forget a lot. I’m used to sleeping on it.”

Which meant Shiro was used to it, and Ryou had never bothered to break the habit.  Lance filed that away, but it was a conversation to have another day. He didn’t have the energy right now.

Matt raised a brow at him, then his eyes slid to Lance.  “Anyway, you don’t need to stick around for this part. Three people is more than enough for a quick patch job, and you can only do so much right now.  No hands.” He nodded to where Lance still hadn’t relaxed his grip at all.

Following his gaze, Ryou nodded.  “Yeah, good point. We can grab something to eat, and I’ll send along one of those trays with some goo on it for you guys. Sound good?”

“Yup.”  Pidge gave him a distracted thumbs up, already in the process of taking the casing off of Ryou’s arm.

With one last look, Ryou stood and tugged Lance up with him.  As they left, he nudged Lance on the side. “You okay?”

“No,” Lance replied shortly.

Ryou paused, then turned to face him.  “Hey, are you hurt? You should have said something.  C’mon, we can go to the med bay and get you something.”

Digging in his heels, Lance resisted the pull.  “No! I’m not hurt. I thought you got your face blown off!  So I’m pretty not okay right now.”

Finally, Ryou stopped and turned back around.  “Oh. But, hey, I’m okay. I’m down an arm for an hour or two, but that’s not too bad.”  This time, he managed to pull his hand away, and instead cupped Lance’s cheek. “Really, it didn’t do worse than knock me down.  The arm even kept working. Nothing to get worked up about.”

Lance shook his head, shaking off the comfort.  “Yes, there is! It scared me, Ryou. You really looked- like you weren’t going to get back up.  Don’t joke. It’s not funny.”

“I’m sorry,” Ryou murmured.  He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Lance’s forehead.  “I didn’t mean to scare you. Did it look that bad?”

“Yes.”

Ryou sighed and stepped back.  “C’mon, my room is close. We should talk.”  He put his hand on the small of Lance’s back, like he had for that brief moment of contact before he ran out.  This time, Lance didn’t buck him off, and instead let himself be lead into the privacy of their rooms.

Immediately, Lance sat down hard on the bed.  “I shouldn’t be mad at you,” he muttered. “You didn’t choose to get shot.  I just hate that you’re so calm about this.” It felt like something huge and terrible had happened, and no one was reacting with appropriate gravitas.  Ryou could easily have died. Even if he’d gotten lucky this time, what if he didn’t next time? What if Ryou had taken that hit to the chest, or to the head, or anywhere else?

Ryou sat down and wrapped his arm around Lance’s shoulder.  “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were taking this so hard. This is our job, Lance.  I never thought I was going to die. I’ve been hurt worse before. What’s different about this time?”

Because Lance hadn’t known he was in love with Ryou, then.

Rather than say that, Lance leaned into the touch.  “I- I froze up. I could have been shot too, because I just stood there like an idiot.”

“That’s why you were standing around?”  Ryou pulled him in closer. “You can’t. Lance, I’m sorry, but you can’t do that.”

“I couldn’t help it!”

Ryou pressed his face into Lance’s hair.  “If I’d been really hurt, and you got hit while frozen, we’d be down two paladins.  We can’t do that, Lance.”

That wasn’t fair.  It wasn’t. That Lance had to ignore if Ryou was hurt or maybe dying and focus on the enemy.  How was he supposed to care about anything else?

But that was their job, and this was exactly what he’d told Shiro wouldn’t be a problem.  At the time, Lance had been thinking in terms of team dynamics and Voltron - would it be awkward if they fought?  Would it be weird to have lovers in the same Voltron mind connection?

Lance loved the whole team.  He hated to see any of them hurt. It drove him out of his mind.

But this was a different kind of feeling, and one that knocked him totally off guard.

“I know,” Lance said.  “I have to get used to it, I guess.”

Ryou took a deep breath.  “I don’t know what I’d do if we were switched,” he admitted.  “I mean, I hope we weren’t, ‘cause you can’t block shots with your hand like I can.  But yeah. I think that’s something we have to be prepared for. One of us might die out there, Lance.”

Intellectually, Lance knew Ryou was right.  Any of them might die on a mission. It had been really close more than once.

But what would Lance do if he saw Ryou die in front of him?

He wouldn’t be the same.  Not if anyone he loved died while Lance could only watch.

“Lance?” Ryou asked softly.  “Is this going to be a problem?  If it is, we’re going to have to talk to Keith and Shiro about that.”

Lance took a deep breath, then let it go.  “I think I can get used to it. It just hadn’t hit before.  What about you?”

Sighing, Ryou shrugged.  “I have Shiro’s memories, and he was always aware of how mortal everyone was.  It’s different now, obviously, because it’s me and not him. But I was always mindful of the possibility.  I’ve kept my cool when Shiro was hurt, so I hope I could do the same for you.”

“What happens if I say I can’t do it?” Lance asked quietly.

Ryou paused, considering.  “Well… Logistically, you should be on missions more.  We have limited long distance, so you’re critical. I’ve been support before, too, and I have outside usage in tech that I can focus on.”

Wait-

Lance had been thinking about trading off.  He hadn’t meant that Ryou would give up being a paladin for this.

“No,” Lance said, pulling back.  “You can’t- I thought you hated not being a paladin.”

Ryou shrugged.  “I hated thinking the lions were rejecting me.  And, yeah, I got a little more stir crazy. But I survived.  If the difference is not being a paladin or getting you killed because you froze up?  Hell, Lance, I know which one I pick.”

Staring up at him, Lance waited for the shoe to drop.  For Ryou to say something that made these words make sense.

But Ryou just stared back calmly, as if there was nothing extraordinary about what he was saying.

Ryou would give up being a paladin for Lance.

It was horrible, and sad, and nothing Lance ever wanted to ask of Ryou.

But he would do it for  _ Lance. _

Lance wrapped both his arms around Ryou’s chest and shoved them both back onto the bed.  “Don’t,” Lance said. “Don’t do that. I don’t want you to. You love being a paladin, and I want you to keep doing it.  We’ll adjust. I just didn’t expect how hard it would hit.” His eyes burned as he pressed his face into Ryou’s chest. The horror of seeing Ryou laid out like that warred with the sad, heavy flattery of what Ryou would do for him.

Ryou smoothed his remaining palm up and down Lance’s back.  “Okay. I won’t. But if we have to, we can make it work.” He pressed another kiss to the top of Lance’s head.  “I want us to work.”

“We do,” Lance replied, voice thick.  He pressed his eyes closed, but it didn’t stop the tears from forcing their way out.  “Just try and stay safe. Please? Lie and say you promise.”

“I can’t-”  Ryou sighed, then nodded.  “Okay. I’ll try. I can promise you that.”

Lance let out a watery gasp and nodded.  “Good. I’m glad you’re okay. I-” He closed off his throat before he could say something more damning.

Nodding, Ryou continued to smooth up and down his back.  “It’s alright. I’m okay. Let it out, Lance.” He hummed softly, a tune that sounded aimless and made up, but soft.  Gentle.

As the fear and stress of the terrible day finally released, Lance curled against his boyfriend and soaked up the heat of him.

Ryou was safe.  He was alive and here, humming a gentle tune.

They would adjust.  Lance would have to compartmentalize better, and Ryou would have to be more careful on missions.  There was no way Lance was going to let Ryou back out of something he loved for something like this, so they’d both figure out how to make this work.

For now, Lance held onto the man he loved and accepted the comfort he offered.

Everything else could wait.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Lance’s head hurt.

No, scratch that.  Lance’s everything hurt.

He shuffled through down the hallway, still wearing his pajamas.  The normally mild lights of the castle made his head throb, and each step felt like he was dragging an anchor behind him.  Technically he should be in his armor for breakfast, so they could head to training after, but that wasn’t going to happen.  The brush of his usually silky-feeling robes was like sandpaper against his sensitized skin. Even the fluffy lion slippers made his clammy, sweaty feet feel gross rather than wonderfully comfy.

It was habit rather than sense that had him on his feet and walking around.  This was what he did in the morning, and Lance didn’t have the presence of mind to wonder why.

So Lance stepped into the dining room, rubbing blearily under his eyes.  He was the last to arrive, which wasn’t unusual. There was a seat next to Ryou.  Lance sat down heavily in it, then flopped sideways against him.

“Good morning to you too, Sleeping Beauty.”  Ryou reached out to pull him into a blind, one-armed hug, without looking up from his food goo.  “Sleep well?”

Lance groaned and pressed his too-hot face into Ryou’s shoulder.  “M’dying.”

“Why are you-?”  Ryou finally looked over, and then paused.  He pulled back so he could unwind his arm from Lance’s shoulders and press the back of his hand to Lance’s forehead.  “You don’t look so good. And you feel warm.”

“Did you catch something?” Hunk asked, his loud voice all the more booming with Lance’s headache.  “Aww, man, that sucks.”

Lance just whined louder.  “Dying,” he repeated. “Say something nice at my funeral.”

Ryou hummed, running his fingers along Lance’s cheeks next, still feeling his temperature.  “I’ll tell everyone you were the best boyfriend I ever had.”

“Only boyfriend,” Lance mumbled back.  He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch.  Ryou’s warm, dry fingers felt like heaven against his skin right now.

“What’s your point?”

Shiro cleared his throat.  “If you have a fever then you should head back to bed, Lance.  I don’t mean to be rude, but you don’t want to give this to everyone.”

“Agreed,” Matt said.  Despite the fact that he was on the other side of the table, he was leaning back as far as he could from Lance.  “I had the flu already in space. It sucks. I don’t want to do it again. Trust me, most aliens really don’t react well to sick humans.  It was awkward for everyone.”

Allura let out a long sigh.  “I’m afraid Coran and I have had plenty of chances to get used to it.  But I agree with Shiro. Do you require a pod, Lance?”

Lance groaned and shook his head.  “S’fine. Just a-” He doubled over, coughing hard into his hand.  The fit lasted for several seconds before he was able to take a deep breath.  “Just a cold.”

“You sure about that?”  Coran leaned around Hunk to poke Lance in the back.  “Sounds like you’ve got something rattling around in there.  Maybe you inhaled something? I once breathed in an entire colony of Valvic Dust Mites, and it had me coughing for weeks.”

Hunk went pale and shuddered.  “Oh, gross. Don’t even say that.”

“It’s true!”

Oh, Lance really didn’t want to think about things stuck in his lungs right now.  It felt like a cold, but what if it really was some kind of weird space dust floating around his airways?  Or worse, what if he’d gotten some kind of alien parasite, and it was living inside of him right now?

That was way too awful to even think about normally, much less when he felt bad already.  Lance grabbed onto Ryou’s shirt and hid his face in his boyfriend’s chest. He let out a pleading, wordless whine to make the bad words stop.

“Don’t make him freak out,” Keith called blandly.  “You’re just gunna make it worse.”

Matt shuddered.  “Yeah, you’re making me want to throw up, and I’m not the sickie.”

Talking about vomit really wasn’t helping.

Arms wrapped around Lance’s back and under his knees.  Then he was heaved up into the air. Lance yelped and kicked out instinctively, but Ryou held him securely until he settled in.

“Alright, I’m taking him back to his room,” Ryou said.  “Before this kind of talk causes trouble. Is this training I need to be there for?”

Shiro shook his head, considering them carefully.  “I think we’ll be alright with just five. That’s still enough to form Voltron, if we need to.  Are you sure this is a good idea?” He tapped his own scar, indicating their mutually tanked immune system.

That was a good point.  Maybe Lance shouldn’t have leaned on Ryou.  Actually, he shouldn’t have come here at all, and now he should go back to his room.  

He tried to squirm down again, but Ryou still held on tight.  “Hey, no, it’s fine. Hate to tell you this, brother dear, but I spent last night exchanging a lot of saliva with my boyfriend.  If he’s sick this morning, I’m already infected.”

“Charming,” Shiro drawled, nose crinkled.

Pidge made a face too.  “Do you have to say it like that?  Gross.” 

Shrugging, Ryou shifted Lance so he was tucked under his chin.  “It’s true. So I’ll at least get Lance settled, alright? We’ll see how long it takes to do that and for me to shower off.  If you’re still in training, I can join after.”

“I’d prefer you didn’t,” Allura said, hands folded in front of her.  “As you said, you’re probably already infected. At the very least, you’re likely to pass it onto Shiro, with your joint tendency to catch these things.  I’d like to have five pilots healthy, if we can.”

Ryou sighed, but nodded.  “Alright. Well, we can talk about what to do later.  For now…” He gave Lance a squeeze. “Wanna head back to your room?”

Yes, but Lance wasn’t so thrilled at the idea of walking.  “Carrying me?”

“That I am.  Want me to keep it up?”

“Mhmm.”

Ryou kissed the top of his head.  “Can do. Good thing you’re such a bean pole.”

Grumbling, Lance shook his head, but didn’t otherwise argue the comparison.

“I can bring you guys something good for his stomach after training,” Hunk said.  “And I’ll send one of the floating trays with a pitcher and some glasses for water.”

“That’d be great, Hunk.  Thanks.” Ryou offered him a smile as he shifted Lance to a more comfortable position.

Hunk nodded, eyes dark and worried.  “No problem. Feel better, buddy.”

Lance gave a sluggish thumbs up in response.

With that, Ryou swept them out of the room and into the hallway.

“You don’t have to,” Lance mumbled, more to Ryou’s chest than to his face.

“Might as well,” Ryou said.  “I’m already good and infected, and someone’s got to make sure you don’t die.  I’m not ready to be a widower.”

Lance frowned.  “Not married.”

Ryou only hummed as he opened the door to Lance’s room.  “Even so. C’mon, bed. You been throwing up so far?”

Gagging, Lance shook his head.  “Don’t talk about it.”

“So that’s a yes on getting you a bin.”  Ryou set him down gently and brushed his sweaty bangs out of his face.  “Lay still, get comfy. You need anything? Blankets, pillows, water? A harem?”

“Last one.”  Lance closed his eyes, a smile curling at his lip.  “Chop chop.”

“I’ll get right on that.”  Ryou kissed his forehead. “Try to sleep if you can, okay?”

“Mmm.”  Lance reached out and grabbed his shirt.  “If you’re staying, in bed. With me.”

It took a second for Ryou to catch on from the wording.  “You sure? I don’t want to overheat you.”

Lance cracked his eyes open again.  “Cold, not hot.”

“Oh, you’re hot.”  Ryou tapped the tip of his nose.  “Attractive and burning up. Alright, if you want to cuddle while you feel like crap, I can do that.  Lemme get everything ready. You sleep.” 

Shooting him a thumbs up, Lance pulled the covers up and turned over.

He almost immediately fell into a daze.  What felt like seconds later, the covers pulled up, and Ryou climbed in after.  Judging by the feel of him, he must have changed into his pajamas as well. Smarter than being in his regular clothes or armor.

Ryou’s heat was comforting, and it helped with the persistent chill.  

Lance leaned back into him and let himself drift back off, at least for the moment.

***

When Lance woke up next, he was already in mid-gag.

He shoved back and away, vaguely aware that his arm hit something warm and hard in the process.  But he couldn’t begin to register that when his stomach was trying to crawl out of his throat. He heaved again, his entire throat tightening up against the bile he felt building.

Lance scrambled for the side of the bed, trying to get to some kind of container in time.  If nothing else, he needed to get off the covers - if he lost it here, it would be awful. But the covers tangled around his sweaty legs, clinging and twisting him in place.  He couldn’t kick them off, especially when his head was swimming and panic was choking him.

Something heavy and metal smacked into his chest.  Lance grabbed onto it instinctively, and he had only had a split second to register that it was a bucket.  After that, finally lost the fight. Bile forced out of his mouth at force, and he only barely ducked forward so it went into the bucket instead of all over his lap.

After that, it just kept coming.  Lance continued to heave, over and over.  He tried to gasp around each round, but the air ended up getting caught in his throat and stomach, until his lungs felt like they were burning.  Tears forced out from behind his lids, mostly in reaction to the panic and physical ache. His whole body hurt from how he kept seizing and jerking.

Finally, the bile slowed.  Lance still gagged into the bucket, but only tiny mouthfuls were coming up, now farther between.  He was finally able to catch his breath, gasping and panting like he’d been held underwater.

Only then did he realize there was a hand on his back, soothing up and down.  Another brushed through his hair, pushing his bangs back and away from his face.

“You’re okay,” someone said, so low and quiet it was nearly a rumble.  “Let it all out, that’s right. Easy now, just breathe. Nice and slow.”

Lance sniffled and wiped over his mouth, wincing when he found his chin wet.  Eugh. “Ryou?”

A wet cloth dabbed against his mouth.  Lance jumped from the rough texture and cold temperature, but then settled down.  Getting his face wiped like a messy child sucked, but Lance couldn’t do it himself.  Not without moving, and he didn’t dare do that. His stomach still churned dangerously.

“Yeah, it’s me.”  Ryou pulled the cloth away, and Lance heard water slosh.  “Feeling a little better?”

Lance swallowed hard and slammed his eyes shut.  “No,” he admitted, voice pitching up with a hint of tears.  “I feel really bad.”

The hand continued to soothe up and down.  “I know, Lance. I’m sorry. You’re doing good, it’s alright.  Think you can lay back down?”

“No.”  Lance clutched harder at the bucket as his stomach gurgled dangerously.

Ryou let out a hiss of air.  “Okay. We’ll stay up. But I’m gunna scoot you back a little, okay?  Hold on.” Hands settled on Lance’s hips, then pulled him back several inches.

The strong jerk made Lance’s head spin.  He curled up further, shaking like a leaf in a storm.  But he stilled again almost immediately, and this time he could feel pillows behind him.  When he leaned back, there was a mound to prop against without lying back down.

Finally, Lance looked up.  Ryou had moved to the side of the bed instead, still looking rumpled with sleep.  But his eyes were clear and steady as he looked Lance over. “That better?”

“Yeah,” Lance said.  He tapped his fingers against the metal bucket.  “Where’d you find this?”

“Storage.  I have no idea what it usually holds, but it didn’t smell like cleaning supplies.  I figured it’d do.” Ryou reached up to pet through Lance’s hair again. “Good thing, too.  No way I could have gotten you to a bathroom in time.”

Lance made a face and groaned in the back of his throat.  “Woulda been bad. Don’t even talk about it.”

Ryou nodded, gaze sympathetic.  “Okay, no talking about that. Want to talk about something else?”

“I-”  Lance paused as his stomach seized back up.  He felt all the blood drain out of his face. “Mm-mmm.”

“Okay.  Don’t talk.  It’s alright.  If you need to throw up, let it out, alright?  We’ll get you more water after.” Ryou continued to gently stroke his hair.  “Want me to keep talking or shut up?”

“Talk.”  Better to focus on Ryou’s voice than Lance’s stomach and clammy skin, or the smell coming from the bucket.

Ryou hummed.  “Okay. I really need to stop and learn about the hovertech.  I keep thinking about it, and then getting distracted. But it’s really cool.  Why don’t we use it more? I know the ziplines for the lions are, you know, aesthetic.  Allura and Coran said that. But why don’t we use it more, as in us Earthlings? We have hover stuff that can go everywhere.  Why do we physically carry anything any- oh, Lance.”

By the end, Lance started to heave again.  Bile forced up his mouth, burning heavy and sour on his tongue.  Lance spat it out, groaning.

The water sloshed again, then Ryou wiped his mouth and chin off once more.  “Want water? That’s not a good taste.”

“No,” Lance managed thickly.  “Talk more. Please.”

Ryou nodded and gently squeezed his shoulder.  The pressure was rough and too heavy, despite how ginger he was being.  Lance was just too sensitive, and every slight brush felt like sandpaper.  “Okay. Um. But seriously, it’s pretty cool stuff. I keep wondering what else we can make float around.  Like, what would happen if we put those in boots? Walking on sunshine, all that.”

This time, Lance was finally able to settle back down.  He rested against the pillow mound, letting Ryou’s voice distract him from the churning and awful taste.  Finally, he looked back over. “Water?”

“Ready for it?”  Ryou obligingly brought over a glass, holding it up for him.  Lance grumbled, but accepted the help and focused on sipping.

Almost immediately, Lance’s stomach churned again.  He pulled away and grunted out his protest until the glass went away.  Thankfully, it didn’t get worse than that, and the taste was mostly gone, at least.

The cup was set back down, and Ryou shifted in closer.  “Done with the bin?”

Lance considered, deeply wary.  But if his stomach acted up again, he’d be able to get out of bed in time now that he was more awake.  So he nodded.

Ryou gently took the bin and lifted it away.  “I’m gunna go dump this and wash it out. It’ll be two minutes, tops.  Try and relax and stay still in the meantime, alright?” He took a wet washcloth - thankfully different from the one he’d been wiping Lance’s mouth with - and placed it on Lance’s forehead.  “Just close your eyes and try to rest up.”

“M’kay.”  Lance obeyed, settling back.  It was a relief to go limp. Some of the constant shivering and ache went away as he no longer tried to keep himself upright.  “Coming back?”

“Yeah.  Try and keep me away.”  Ryou pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head.  “If you need help, just yell. I’m right down the hall and I’m listening.”

Lance nodded, slow and exhausted.  Already, he felt like his limbs were weighed down.  “Okay.”

With that, Ryou stepped out.   Lance heard the door open to let him leave.

By the time Ryou came back, Lance was already asleep again.

***

Under a thin layer of hazy darkness, Lance drowsed.

Dreams faded in and out of reality.  Sometimes, Lance was curled up in bed, tucked under a heavy layer of blankets.  Sometimes he was in the rest of the castle, training and going through his day like normal.  Sometimes he was in a strange version of the Garrison, where they prepared to fight the Galra and ride giant robots.  Sometimes he was laying in too-hot sunshine, beating down on his skin while he floated on water. 

He would drift into one dream, following it for a while, before remembering he was dreaming and snapping back.  But he was content to let the dreams wash over him like waves, rolling over then receding again.

At least, he was until something heavy landed on his shoulder.

“Lance,” Ryou called.  “Sorry, but lunch is here.  Want to give it a shot?”

Food?  No way.  Lance shuddered as he remembered how bad everything had felt coming up.  “No.” He pulled the covers up higher and burrowed down.

There was a pause, then the hand returned.  “Water, at least.”

Shoving the hand off, Lance cracked open an eye to glare.  The more Ryou insisted, the more Lance was reminded how terrible he felt.  His head pounded, his body ached, his stomach churned. He was covered in a layer of sweat that made his already sensitive skin feel all the worse.  “Go. Away.”

Ryou’s eyes darted over his face, then his jaw set.  “A few sips of water. That’s all.” When Lance didn’t stop glaring, he sighed.  “You lost a lot of liquid before. Being dehydrated will make you feel worse.”

Yeah, well, throwing up wasn’t going to make him feel good either.  “It’ll come up again.”

“Then you have my full permission to throw up on me for being an ass,” Ryou said.  “Just a couple of sips. Please, Lance. I want you to feel better. After you can go right back to sleep, and we’ll try lunch later.”

Lance groaned.  “No food talk. Shut up.”

Ryou winced and nodded.  “Right. No more. Just water.  Please?”

Finally, Lance pushed himself up.  He was already shivering, and being exposed to the open air just made it worse.  “Give me the stupid cup.”

“You sure that’s a good idea?”  Ryou held the cup of water for him, placing it to his lips.  “Your hands are shaking.”

Lance glared and pulled his head away.  “No. Give.” If he was going to drink the stupid water, he was going to do it at his own place, not fighting how much Ryou was tilting.   He had no patience for that. He had no patience for anything. All he wanted was to go back to that nice drowse where nothing hurt or ached, but Ryou wasn’t letting him.

For a moment, Ryou hesitated.  Then he winced and nodded. “Okay.  But hand it off if you feel like it’s too much.”

Lance could handle a stupid cup.  He took it in both hands and brought it to his lips.  The water inside sloshed, making wet noises that reminded Lance of how bad his stomach was rolling.  He gagged again just from the thought, then slammed his eyes shut. Finally, he took a tiny sip and swallowed.  When it didn’t feel awful, he took another, then a bigger one.

Just as Lance was about to admit this had been a good idea, the slippery, condensation-laced glass slipped from his fingers and crashed down on his chest, spilling the water everywhere.

“Shit!”  Ryou dove forward and grabbed the glass, but it was way too late.  It was already soaking through Lance’s shirt and the top layer of blankets.  “Oh, Lance. Okay, c’mon. Let’s get this off.” He yanked away the thick top blanket, leaving the next layer only slightly damp.  

Looking down at his sopping wet shirt and his legs, Lance clenched his hands.  “Ryou,” he groaned, more than a hint of accusation in his tone.

“I know.  I’m sorry, Lance.”  Ryou looked honestly apologetic as he knelt next to Lance’s bed.  “Let’s just get your shirt off.”

“M’cold.”

Ryou winced.  “I know, but you’ll be warm soon.  I got extra blankets, it’s okay.” He slipped his fingers under Lance’s shirt.  “Raise your hands.”

Lance obeyed, his whole body shaking from the effort.  He slammed his eyes shut to fight against the burn of tears.  It was stupid. Literally spilled water. But it felt like so much to handle right now.  All he’d wanted was to sleep, but then Ryou had made him drink and now he was wet and his shirt was cold and his blanket was gone and why hadn’t he just been allowed to sleep?

Once the shirt was off, Ryou used the crumpled, silky fabric to sop up as much of the remaining water as he could.  “Okay, you’re pretty dry. I’m sorry, Lance, I should have kept holding on.”

“No, shoulda let me sleep.”

Ryou sighed.  “Well, you can sleep more now.”  He pulled the sheets back up and pulled them to Lance’s shoulders.  Then he grabbed a folded blanket from the floor and spread it over. It wasn’t as nice and heavy as the first one, but at least the added weight and heat stilled some of Lance’s shivers.  Then he tucked the blanket in, cocooning Lance as best he could.

Mood still dark, Lance just grumbled, but let his eyes fall closed.  At least he hadn’t thrown up after all, and now he was getting to lay back down again.  The rush of emotions before faded, leaving him calmer and more settled. He still hurt, and he wasn’t sure he’d fall asleep immediately, but this was better.

Lance was starting to float off again when there was a knock on the door.

Before Lance could even groan, he heard Ryou stand up and walk over.  Good, he was taking care of it. Lance didn’t have to wake up again and walk over. 

“How is he?”

Why was Ryou asking that?  He knew- 

“Not good.  He just fell asleep again, so keep it down.”

Oh, no, that was Ryou.  The one before was Shiro.  Okay.

Shiro sighed.  “How bad is not good?”

“Pretty bad.  What do you want me to say here, exactly?  You looking for the play by play?”

There was a pause.  Lance could imagine the exactly flat look that Shiro was probably giving Ryou.   “I’m just asking. Should we put him in the pod?”

“No.”  That was a surprising amount of venom.  Lance’s brows furrowed, but he still didn’t pick his head up or move.

Another pause.  “Are you sure? If it’s bad then at least he’ll sleep through it.”

Ryou let out a low, displeased noise.  “It’s not deadly bad. Just miserable. I’ll ask him when he wakes up next, but not till then.  We’re not putting him in a pod without his permission, not unless it’s life or death.”

“Alright, alright.  I’m not here to get your hackles up.  Just ask later, or call if you need a hand.”  There was a pause. “How are you feeling? You don’t look great either.”

“Fine.”  Another pause.  “No, really. Maybe a little stuffy.  I’m good for the day at the very least.  The second that Lance is better you can shove me in a pod if it makes you feel better about catching something, but wait till then or until he says it’s okay.”

Shiro sighed.  “Ryou, no one’s trying to shove you or Lance anywhere.  I’m just asking after you.”

A pause, then an identical sigh.  “Yeah, I know. Sorry, I’m a little protective right now. He’s been… yeah.”

“You can trade off if you need the help.”

“We need five pilots.”

“We have more than five people around.”

Ryou snorted.  “No one unnecessary.  I- stop looking at me, I’m not saying I’m extra.  I’m just a lost cause to the germ army. We’re okay for now, and I’ll let you know if that changes.  Ignore me, my temper’s already shot.”

“I understand.  Go rest while you can.”

“Yeah, yeah.  Go mother hen the rest of them, and tell Hunk thanks.”

“I will.”

The door closed again, and Ryou trudged back over.  He let out a sigh, and there was a thump like he sat down.  He must have pulled over the desk chair.

After a few seconds, a hand settled in Lance’s hair, with just barely enough pressure to be felt.  Only Lance’s drowsy state kept him from flinching and giving up the game.

“Maybe you should go in a pod,” Ryou said.  “But not without your permission. No one’s doing anything to you that you don’t agree to.  I promise. And if that’s dumb, you can tell me when you feel better. For now..” He trailed off, gently petting Lance’s hair.

The soft motions pushed Lance back under the hazy, darkness of sleep. 

Distantly, Lance felt his lips curl up.  The petting felt nice, as did Ryou’s protectiveness.  Maybe it was a little misplaced right now, but he had every reason to protect his own autonomy so fiercely.  It was nice that he saw Lance’s as worthy of protection too.

After that he was drifting off, and it faded into comforting warmth.

***

Lance cracked open his eyes and stretched slowly.  His last dream had been- well, Lance already was starting to forget.  There had been flying, maybe, and he’d been talking to someone? The details almost immediately slipped from his fingers as it ended naturally.  Instead, he was greeted by the low light of his room, and the sound of snoring.

Rolling over, Lance watched Ryou.  He was slumped back in the desk chair, head lolled back and mouth hanging open.  It looked like his arms had been crossed at one point, but now they were tangled limply in his lap.

It was among the least comfortable positions that Lance had ever seen someone sleep in.  And yet, here he was, snoring away by Lance’s bedside. All to take care of him and protect him.

Lance’s heart thumped in his chest.  He hid a smile in the pillow, despite the fact that Ryou couldn’t see it.

Maybe it had just been a day, but it had been a long, gross one.  Ryou had been there to hold his hair back and to clean Lance up, and to help take care of him, even when he was snapping and cold.

For no reason other than Lance felt sick, and Ryou wanted to help him.

That was marriage material, honestly.  Not anytime soon, but some day.

“Love you,” Lance murmured, smiling at the sleeping form.

Ryou snored on, oblivious to Lance’s words.

So he reached out and smacked at Ryou’s knee until the snores choked off.  “Hey. Come lay down properly.”

Ryou blinked rapidly, disoriented.  “Mmm? You sure?” Then his eyes focused, and his brows came together.  “How are you feeling?”

“Better.  And I’ll be even better if you aren’t sitting like that.”  Lance lifted up a corner of the blanket.

There was only a slight pause, then Ryou climbed into bed with him.  “If you’re feeling better then you should drink and eat.”

Probably.  Lance nodded, even as he snuggled into Ryou’s shoulder.  “In a bit. You feel warm.”

“Now can you tell?  You’re still feverish.”

“Still warm.  You’re gunna go down soon.”

Ryou planted a kiss to the top of his head.  “Worth it. Ten minutes, then dinner, alright?”

Lance hummed and nodded, with no real intention of following through.  Right now, he just wrapped an arm around Ryou’s waist and took a deep breath.

“In sickness and in health,” he mumbled.

“Hm?”  Ryou looked down.  “Didn’t catch that.”

Lance didn’t reply, and instead shoved his nose into Ryou’s neck and pressed a kiss right where he knew his boyfriend was ticklish.  Satisfyingly, he squirmed before he could stop himself.

Eventually, Ryou settled in as well, seeming content to just lay there together.

Good.  Tomorrow, Lance would probably return the favor.  For now, they were perfect right where they were.


	5. Chapter 5

“Are you sure about this?”

Ryou stopped working his metal hand to look over at Lance. His expression was neutral, purposefully closed off into polite interest.  It looked strange on him, and it took Lance a minute to realize why. It made him look more like Shiro, even with the white hair.

“Yeah,” Ryou finally replied, nodding distractedly.  “Hunk and Pidge and all of them are right. They walked me through the process.  There’s next to no way that any mechanical or magical essence could stay in the metal of my old arm after they melt it down and reform it.  It’s safe, and we don’t really have the resources to turn up our noses at such a good solution.”

Lance swallowed and nodded.  He freely admitted he didn’t understand the process of turning Ryou’s former arm into reinforcement for his current one.  Well, he at least understood ‘make metal hot, it melts, becomes new shape,’ but not how they made sure it was safe.

Still, he trusted that it would be.  Lance didn’t understand Haggar’s magic, either, and he didn’t really want to.  But he didn’t know how melted casing could be part of her master plan. Besides, if it kept a shot from penetrating through Ryou’s hand and getting him in the face, Lance was all for it.

Except that Ryou was standing there, that distant look in his eyes, and his expression pointedly blank.

Lance stepped forward and put his hand on Ryou’s upper arm, where it was still flesh.  “Hey. It doesn’t have to be now. And if it makes you nervous, that’s a perfectly good reason not to do this.”

“No, it’s not.”  Ryou finally clenched his fingers together and straightened.  “It’ll make me safer in the field, and that makes everyone safer.  You especially. We just talked about being more careful and taking my well being more seriously.  This is part of that.”

That was true.  Lance took a deep breath and squeezed again.  “Do you have to be there the whole time? Your arm comes off, they shouldn’t need all of you in there.  Maybe you can come with me and we’ll watch movies of something. Make it a date.”

Ryou’s lips quirked up, and his eyes finally flickered with life again.  But the amusement faded quickly. Instead, he pressed his forehead to Lance’s and took a deep breath.  “No. I mean, it’d be nice. We should do that sometime soon. But I can’t stand not watching and not knowing for sure what they did with the casing and the old arm.  I know they’re all amazing, but I have to see for myself.”

Sighing, Lance nodded.  “Alright, I understand that.  Want me there for it?”

“Lance, I’m fine.”  Ryou ran the knuckles of his left hand down Lance’s cheek and over his jaw.  “Really. I’m nervous now, but once it’s done my arm won’t look or function any different.  It’ll be normal soon.”

Lance pushed up on his toes to kiss Ryou.  “You’re nervous. You’re allowed to be. If it’ll help, I’ll happily stick around.”

That earned him a flicker of a smile.  “It’ll be really boring. I’d rather you go off and have fun for me.  I’ll find you after, alright?”

It was on the tip of Lance’s tongue to keep insisting.  Boring was a small price to pay for offering Ryou any comfort.  That the arm would take over his mind again had to be a recurring fear of his.

But maybe Ryou didn’t want him there.  Maybe he wanted privacy to deal, or he didn’t want to have to put on a brave face for Lance.  That was understandable, even if it left a bad taste in Lance’s mouth. He wanted Ryou to want him around, or at least to accept comfort from him.  But he couldn’t make him.

So Lance nodded and kissed him again.  “Okay. I’m a call away if you need me, though.”

“I know,” Ryou replied, still warm.  He kissed the tip of Lance’s nose. “I appreciate it more than I can say.”

Sighing, Lance stepped back and let go of Ryou’s arm.  It made his palm feel cold, so he curled his fingers against the sensation.  “Good luck.”

“Thanks.  I’ll see you in a bit.”  Ryou gave one last tiny wave, barely a jerk of his fingers.  It made him look more like a kid reluctant to go to their first day of school.  But then he took a deep breath and turned, then disappeared into the lab. The door closed with a thump that sounded louder than normal.

Lance couldn’t help feeling like he’d messed something up.  He didn’t know what else he could have done other than offer comfort, but being away from Ryou right now felt wrong.  There should have been a solution, should have been some combination of words and smiles and kisses that gave him entry to this moment.

But that hadn’t happened.  

It was easier to blame himself and say he’d done something wrong than to admit that Ryou hadn’t wanted to see him vulnerable.

Biting back the uncharitable thought, Lance turned and stalked down the hall.  The kitchen would be quiet, and he could get snacks for Ryou that they could enjoy later.  

That had to be enough for now.

***

Almost two hours later, Lance sulkily flipping through one of Hunk’s many recipe books.  He had a bowl in front of him, now only containing crumbs. He’d been enthusiastic about getting a snack and being ready when Ryou called him, but he was still just waiting.  

Originally, he’d gotten out Hunk’s books to find something more interesting to make, but he couldn’t drum up the energy.  All he could think about was Ryou, and why this was taking so long. Had something gone wrong? Was the casing a bigger problem than they thought?  Had Ryou had problems?

Ten more minutes.  He’d give it just ten more, and then he’d poke his head into the lab.  Just to make sure nothing had gone wrong. 

Just as Lance was about to close the current recipe book, the door opened.  He surged to his feet, heart pounding and hopeful. Ryou had said he’d call, but maybe instead he’d tracked Lance down and-

But, no, it was Hunk in the doorway.

Wait, if Hunk was here…

“Hey,” Lance called, trying for casual and not quite managing.  “Took longer than you guys thought, huh? Everything went well?”

Hunk’s brows jumped up.  “Huh? It went fine, yeah.  Popped the arm off, and the Altean manufacturing made the whole thing pretty easy.  Took half a varga, maybe?” He stepped over and pulled over a chair, leaning over to peer at the book.  “I thought you didn’t like those baked roots I made.”

Looking down at the book, Lance made a face and closed it.  “I was browsing, not looking at anything in particular. Half a varga?”  They’d been done for nearly 90 minutes, then.

Apparently nothing had gone wrong.  Ryou had just never called.

He’d probably forgotten.  After everything, he was probably in a state.

But Lance’s stomach still churned, and his fingers dug into the table.  He was sitting here worried over nothing. He could have been spared the last hour and a half of stress if someone had just shot him a text.

“Yeah,” Hunk replied slowly.  “Is something wrong?”

“No.”  There probably wasn’t.  And Ryou wasn’t obligated to call Lance.  It just would have been nice. And he’d said he would.  “Everything went well? How was Ryou?”

Hunk opened his mouth, then shut it.  “Yeah. It was good. We’ll have to test to make sure the metal is as strong as before we melted it.  Stress testing. But nothing happened when we plugged it back in. Ryou even had us take it back off in case he couldn’t be honest with it on, and it still checked out.”  He paused again, looking Lance over. “He was nervous. Quiet. Way quieter than normal, even with all of us talking to him. But he was responsive and there were no big issues.”

That was about the best Lance could have hoped for.  He scrubbed over his face and took a deep breath. “Okay.  Good.”

“Is something wrong?  You seem kinda…” Hunk bit his bottom lip.  “Stressed.”

Yeah, that wasn’t inaccurate.

Lance sighed.  “Yeah. I’m good.  I just… He was supposed to find me after. That’s all.”

“Ah.”  Hunk’s lips pressed thing.  “He wasn’t exactly in a great mood when we let him go. He thanked us, but he basically ran out after.  So he probably forgot, honestly.”

Groaning, Lance sat back down.  “Yeah, I know. I know that. I just… I want him to confide in me, you know?”  He looked up at Hunk and made a face. “You probably don’t want to listen to me.”

Hunk pulled out a chair and sat down.  “You kidding me? Of course I do. You’re both my friends.”

Managing a smile, Lance nodded.  “Yeah, true. I just… I’ve been thinking about it today.  And it feels one way, you know? I mean, I know he cares, and I know he has fun with me.  But when it’s the serious stuff, I lean on him more. A lot more.”

“You were there when he got shot,” Hunk pointed out.  “And you were there for him right from the start. I don’t think Ryou’s forgotten that.”

“Maybe,” Lance said.  “At first. But when he was hurt, he was comforting me.  I was freaking out over it and he said he’d stop being a paladin if it worried me that much.”

Hunk’s breath escaped in a hiss.  “He said that? You told him no, right?”

“Of course I did!  He loves being a paladin.  I was worried but I’m not going to punish him for it.”  Lance played with the back cover of the recipe book, flicking the edge to make it flap up then drop back down.  “But that’s what I mean. It’s not even. Ryou cares for me, and he’s there for me, but he won’t let me be there for him back.  I wanted to be there for him, and he said no.”

“Oh.”  Hunk tapped his fingers against the table.  “It was pretty simple and boring. He might have thought it wasn’t going to be a big deal.”

Lance shook his head.  “No way. Ryou was already nervous.  He just said he’d be fine.”

“Well, sometimes people want space when they’re upset.”  Leaning back in his chair, Hunk regarded him. “That doesn’t mean he doesn’t trust you.”

“It’s never his turn, though.”  Lance pushed away the book and scowled.  “Not since we started dating. I feel like we talked about him more before we kissed.”

Hunk sighed.  “Then you’re going to have to talk to him about it.  Maybe he’s not really thinking about it. That’s a really Shiro thing, so it might be habit more than design.”

True.  Lance winced and didn’t look up.  “Probably.”

“Definitely.  This bugs you.  You’re really upset about it.  Do you think this is a deal breaker?”

Lance chewed the inside of his cheek, thinking.  If it was just that Ryou was in the habit or naturally played his cards close to the chest, no.  He could understand that. Lance was the sort of person who talked his problems out, but that wasn’t everyone.  As baffling as it was, some people were like Shiro or Keith, and they turtled in on themselves until they could deal better.  Ryou might be cut from that same cloth.

But if it was that Ryou thought of Lance as someone to care for, and of himself as a caregiver… Yeah, that could break them.  That wasn’t an even relationship, not in the way Lance wanted them to be. This was a partnership, as far as he was concerned.  Equals. And if Ryou saw Lance as someone he couldn’t confide in or accept comfort from while they were dating, then they shouldn’t be dating.

“Maybe,” Lance finally said, his stomach dropping to his feet.  “I don’t want it to be. But it might.”

“Then talk to him,” Hunk said, his voice gentling.  

Yeah, that was the best solution.  Lance’s stomach twisted dangerously, but he took a deep breath.  “Yeah. Okay. You know where he is?”

Hunk shook his head.  “No, he stormed off. Normally I’d say check his lab, but I don’t feel like that’s where he’d go right now.”

Good point.  Maybe he was with Shiro, then.  Honestly, that would be fine. Lance would understand if Ryou had gone to his brother instead.  No one would understand Ryou’s fears like Shiro. At least he’d be getting comfort from someone, which was more important than it being specifically Lance.

“I’ll try and track him down.  Thanks, Hunk. You’re the man.”

Hunk gave a wane smile back.  “Yeah, I am. Go on. I really want this to work out for you guys.  It makes you both really happy.”

Smiling back, Lance nodded.  “Thanks. I do too.”

He really, really did.

With one last smile and a squeeze to Hunk’s shoulder, Lance slipped out to find his boyfriend.

***

It took nearly another half an hour to find Ryou, because he wasn’t in any of his haunts.  Shiro hadn’t seen Ryou since that morning, either - apparently he’d assumed he had been with Lance and so hadn’t pushed.  A quick check showed he wasn’t in Yellow’s hanger, or working on the spare Galra ship. Nor was Ryou in the rec room, the observation room, or in the control room.

While Lance could have looked up Ryou’s vitals on the computers, he didn’t want to.  It felt like losing. Lance should be able to find his boyfriend on his own, without cheating with the lifesigns tracking system.  He should know Ryou well enough for that, and if Ryou had buried himself somewhere deep to avoid being found, then outing his location wasn’t going to make him happy.

Desperation finally took Lance to the training room.  It was Keith and Shiro’s usual haunt, not Ryou’s, but it was the last place he could think of.

When he opened the door, he immediately heard the sounds of impacts and grunts.  Lance sighed and stepped in.

Ryou stood inside, his back to the door.  He had one of the floating punching bags up, and he was wailing on it with all his might.  Judging by how damp his hair and shirt looked, he’d probably been at this for a while. He hadn’t even bothered to change into his armor.

There was no reaction to the door opening.

That was worrying.

Lance knocked on the door frame and cleared his throat.  “Ryou?”

The punching didn’t stop.  Ryou didn’t look bad.

Stomach dropping, Lance stepped around carefully, keeping himself a good distance from Ryou.  Just in case he wasn’t sure where he was, Lance wasn’t going to make the mistake of startling him and possibly getting hurt.  That would make everything so much worse. “Ryou? How are you feeling?”

When he curled around the side, Ryou’s eyes snapped to him.  They were clear and focused on him. Finally, he sighed and reached out, stilling the punching bag.  “Hi.”

“Hey.”

Silence.

Lance swallowed hard, then took a step forward.  For once, nothing about Ryou looked particularly approachable.  He was still only looking at Lance from the corner of his eye, and all of him was tense.  “You said you’d call. Everything okay?”

“Yeah.”  Ryou held up his right hand and worked the fingers.  “Exactly as designed.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

Wincing, Ryou looked away.  “Yeah. I know. Sorry. I said I would call, but I just…  I don’t have a good excuse.”

Lance took another careful step forward.  “I don’t need an excuse. I just want to know that you’re okay.  Can I do something to help?”

“Honestly?  Not really.”  Ryou rested his forehead on the punching back, eyes closed.  

The words hit like a punch.  Lance clenched his fists against it.  “Do you need space?”

Ryou’s shoulders tightened.  “Yes. And- really, Lance, what are you going to do about this?  Tell me it’s okay? Pat me on the head? Promise me nothing’s going to go wrong?”  He looked down at his metal hand and snorted.

“I could be there for you,” Lance offered, voice tight and louder.  “Or I could distract you, or remind you we have safety measures in place.  Anything other than being shut out. I could be here.”

Reeling back, Ryou punched the bag again, making the whole thing jolt hard.  “I’m not really in the mood.”

Lance took a deep breath.  “Okay,” he managed. “Will you be later?”

“I don’t know.”  Ryou gave the bag another fierce punch, lips pulled back. When he stopped the bag again, his fingers were shaking. “Sorry.”

“Okay.”  What else could Lance say?  This clearly wasn’t the time to have a deep conversation about relationship problems.  Ryou was dealing with enough. “I just hope you know I’m there. Anytime you need. You don’t have to fake being happy or secure.  This doesn’t have to be just about me.”

Ryou took a deep, ragged breath.  “Understood. Okay.” His next breath was even rougher, and he closed his eyes.  “I really can’t talk right now. Go away. Please.”

It looked like he was on the edge of breaking down, and Lance was being told to go away.  To leave him to hurt in peace.

What was the right choice?  Which was most fair to Ryou?  Did Lance insist and stay to try and comfort him, and override Ryou’s will, or did he walk away and know Ryou was in pain and didn’t want Lance to see it?

In the end, there was really only once option.

Lance would never take away Ryou’s choice.  Not after everything he’d been through, and what he feared right now.

So he stepped forward, and put his hand on Ryou’s left arm.  His whole body jolted, and his eyes snapped open.

Before he could say anything, Lance pressed a kiss to his cheek.  “I’ll be there when you’re ready. Anytime at all, no matter what. I-”  I love you. “I hope you know that.”

“I do.”  Ryou stayed utterly stiff.  “Thank you. Really.”

Lance gave a final nod and a weak smile, then turned and walked away.

As soon as the door closed behind him, leaned the wall and closed his eyes against burning tears.

They could deal with this later.  

But it hurt right now.

***

The sound of heavy knocking snapped Lance awake.  He blinked at his room, disoriented. The lights were off for the castle’s night setting, and he was still in his clothes, with his tech pad on his chest.

Lance didn’t even remember falling asleep.  He’d been reading to try and distract himself, and he must have dozed off.

Another knock startled him.  Lance’s gaze snapped to the door.  As he stood, he tapped on the tablet to check the time.  2 AM castle time. Huh.

Shuffling to the door, Lance rubbed over his eyes.  They felt sticky and gross, probably from how long he’d spent fight off tears.  Even after sleeping, he probably looked like a mess, and he hadn’t even done his nightly routine.  Eugh.

Well, no helping it now.  Lance opened the door, brows up and mouth open.

Only to freeze at the sight of Ryou standing there.  He was in his pajama pants, his hair sticking up in the back and his eyes wild.  The metal arm was off, leaving the port visible. Shivering, he shifted from foot to foot and looked down at the floor.  “Hi.”

“Hey.”  Lance swallowed and looked him over.  “What’s up?”

“I-”  Ryou’s hand shook so hard it was clearly visible.  He clenched it hard, but it didn’t help. “Um. I just thought… this was stupid.  I shouldn’t have woken you up. Sorry.” He turned to leave.

Lance sighed.  “Ryou. Stop. What’s going on?”

There was a long pause.  Then Ryou finally turned back around, his eyes shining.  “I can’t sleep. I keep having nightmares.” His lips curled into a bitter, unhappy smile.  “Dumb, right? I have nightmares all the time. What am I, five?”

“Not that old,” Lance said.  When Ryou flinched, he held up his hands.  “No, no, that was a joke. I mean you’re not- physically, that’s all.  Not that you- Here, come in. It’s okay.”

“I should let you sleep,” Ryou said, taking a wary step back.  “This was awful of me. You had a long day too. I shouldn’t-”

“Ryou!”  Lance’s shout finally stopped him.  “Please. I told you that I was here for you.  Anytime. Even for bad dreams. Maybe especially for them.  So please come inside and talk to me. I want you to.”

For a second, it looked like Ryou would argue.  But then he looked over Lance’s face and saw the naked sincerity.  So instead he stepped forward, his gait heavy and uneven. Rather than stop when he was past the door, he kept going until he could pull Lance in close.  His one remaining arm wrapped around Lance’s waist, and his head rested on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

Lance shushed him and stepped carefully backward until his knees hit the bed.  He sat, pulling Ryou down with him. “It’s okay. I know you don’t believe me, but it’s safe here.  You’re safe with me.”

Ryou’s fingers tightened in his shirt.  “I believe you,” he said, voice very small.

Petting through his hair, Lance smiled.  “Thank you. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”  Ryou let out a bitter sounding chuckle.  “It’s what you’d expect after today.”

Lance nodded, his eyes closed.  “I’m guessing you didn’t take the arm off because you’re developing good habits, huh?”

“No.”  Ryou held on tighter, and a powerful shiver ran through him.  “I couldn’t stand it. I kept wondering if it’s doing something to me.  What if I can’t see it? I couldn’t before. I could have done anything.  I could have hurt everyone. I almost- I almost killed Shiro b-before, and what if it’d been someone else?  What if it was more subtle again?”

Why had they gone through with this arm idea?  It was safer, yes, and it was better for missions.  But that didn’t matter if Ryou couldn’t sleep because he was too scared.

“It’s off,” Lance said, because nothing else would help.  “It can’t hurt you at all. It’s gone again. And you’re safe, and I’m safe.  Everyone’s okay. It didn’t do anything.”

The shaking started to get worse.  “I don’t- but what if…?” Ryou shifted closer, like he was trying to crawl through Lance’s pajama shirt.  “What if it’s inside me?”

“Aww, Ryou.”  Lance pulled him in tight.  “I know you. It’s only you in there, I promise.  Your brother and I would notice, even if it was subtle.  We know, now. You’re safe. We can take care of you. I can take care of you.  I’ll protect you.”

Finally, a cry escaped Ryou.  It came out like a cough between his clenched teeth, but it was quickly followed by another, and then more.  They never devolved into full tears, but his entire body jerked from the force of what he was holding back.

Lance smoothed his hand up and down Ryou’s bare back.  “It’s okay. You can let it out. Just let it go, Ryou.”

Pulling back, Ryou shook his head, still breathing hard.  “I don’t want to,” he admitted, rough and almost sulky. “I don’t.  I hate how it feels, and how stuff I get, and the headaches after. And I don’t want-”  He cut himself off and ducked his head again. “I’m scared.”

“Of crying?”  Lance kissed the top of his head.  “Why are you scared of that?”

“No.  Of letting go.”  Ryou wiped over his eyes.  “I was so mad earlier. Scared, and it was coming out… badly.  I wanted to hit things and to scream. To just run forever, or to punch off someone’s face.  I didn’t even set up one of the training bots. I knew I’d rip it apart.”

Oh.  Lance hadn’t even wondered about that.  He’d figured it was to pound something that wouldn’t frustrate him by being hard to hit.

Petting through his hair, Lance looked over his face.  “Of course you’re angry. What happened to you last time was terrible, and I hate the people who did it to you.  That general or commander or whatever better hope she died when Yellow tore through the base, otherwise I’m going to find her.”  Lance wrapped his fingers around either of Ryou’s shoulders, digging in. “You get to be angry. You’re allowed.”

“But they’re not here!  She’s not, and Haggar’s not, and Zarkon isn’t.  No one who deserves it is here. It’s just you!”  Ryou dropped his head and took another series of deep breaths.  “I know how badly I can hurt people. I know I had- Shiro had a temper.  Has. I do too. I don’t want those two to mix, just because I’m scared.”

Lance swallowed hard, even as a small light burned in his chest.  That had to be an awful feeling, but Lance was glad to finally understand why Ryou had rejected him earlier.  “You won’t. You’d never hurt me.”

“You sure?”  Ryou eyed him.  “’Cause I’m not.”

But Lance just continued to stare him down.  “Yes. I am. Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you will.  I could shoot you down from five hundred feet away. One shot. Before you even got close.  Doesn’t mean I will.”

“But…”  Ryou looked down at his one hand, then clenched it.  “I could. Even if I didn’t mean to.”

“I could friendly fire you.”  Lance pressed a kiss to Ryou’s forehead.  “We can both be dangerous. We’re all trained to be.  Which is why you’re safe.” Suddenly surging forward, Lance rolled them both, so Ryou was on his back on the bed.  Lance pinned his wrist beside his ear, gripping tightly enough that he felt the bones shift. “If you tried to hurt me, I’d stop you.  I could tell something was wrong, and I could take you. Of your own will or no.”

Ryou gaped at him, distinctly ruffled.  Then he looked over at his wrist and started to push up.  He had physical bulk on his side, and he quickly managed to get his hand a few inches off the bed.  “Lance…”

Then Ryou froze, because Lance jammed his knee between his legs.

“I have siblings, remember?” Lance said, his brows up.  “Older siblings, even. Shiro taught us how to fight well, but I already knew how to fight dirty.”

There was a pause, where Ryou stared up at Lance, and Lance glared him right back down.

Then a choking sound escaped Ryou.  He bit his bottom lip, but another come out, and another.  Then he burst into a strange, gasping noise, that was somewhere between laughter and cries.  “You could,” he admitted breathlessly. “Would you?”

“Yeah.  We’d get you in a pod, and I’d have you back in action soon enough.  No meat off my bones.”

“Meat off mine.”  Ryou let out a painful sounding wheeze of a laugh, turning on his side.  This time, Lance didn’t resist, rolling over to crash down next to him. Immediately, he was pulled in tightly, and Ryou buried his face into Lance’s hair.  “You’re amazing.”

Lance hummed.  “I pretty much am, yeah.  We got you back last time.  Now, if it happens again, we know how to snap you out of it immediately.  And Hunk and all them know what to look for with the arm. If they say it’s safe, it is.  You’re safe. From the arm, and from your temper, and from any of it.”

There was a tiny, jerky nod against his hair.  “Maybe,” Ryou admitted. It was at least an acknowledgment.  Certainty would have to come with time.

Finally, Ryou pulled back again.  This time, his eyes were bright red and watery, but he was still smiling.  “Didn’t really want you to see me in that mood anyway. Not exactly great boyfriend material.”

“Oh, fuck that.”  Lance gave him a gentle, faux punch to the shoulder.  “I like you for all of you, including the parts where you can be a sarcastic, surly bastard.  If I only like you when you’re in a good mood, I’m the shitty boyfriend, not you.”

“Even when I’m mad enough to hit things?”  Ryou arched a brow at him. “That’s not exactly comforting, Lance.”

“Mad enough to hit  _ things.”  _  Lance arched his brows at him.  “Like punching bags and bots. Which you didn’t even go to, because you didn’t want to hit something human-shaped. I’m not scared of you, Ryou.  I-” He swallowed hard. It was true he loved Ryou, but now wasn’t how he wanted to say it. Not for the first time. “I trust you.”

Honestly, that may have been better anyway.  Ryou’s face crumpled, and he gave a thin smile.  “I should trust you more too, huh?”

“I hope you can.”

“I came here, didn’t I?”  Ryou looked around the room.  “I came to you. I thought about Shiro but- you were the one I wanted.  You make me feel good. You make me smile when things seem too heavy. You make everything better.”  He used his hand to cup Lance’s jaw, then gave him a gentle kiss. “Thank you.”

Lance smiled into the kiss.  “Same to you. Even when you’re mad.  I want this to work. Not just for the next few days, but for a long time.  Maybe as long as we have.”

Ryou’s eyes shone as he pecked Lance again.  “I do too. I’ll keep that in mind. Long term.  I’m not great at thinking that way, still.”

The words felt like ice in Lance’s stomach, even if he knew they were true.  Neither of the twins thought in longer term than the war.

Lance would help Ryou get in the habit.

Leaning forward, he gave Ryou a last, long kiss.  Then he brushed the white bangs off his forehead. “You think you can sleep?”

“With you?  Maybe.” Ryou slumped his head down onto the pillow.  “I’ll probably wake up a few times.”

“I’ll be here to help.”

Ryou opened his mouth, probably to argue, but then he nodded with a rueful smile.  “Thank you.”

Lance smiled back. “Thank you for trusting me.”

“There’s no reason not to, and every reason why I should.”  With that, Ryou pulled Lance in one more time, so he could rest his chin on top of his head.

Smiling into Ryou’s chest, Lance shifted so his cheek was pressed right over his boyfriend’s heart.  It was still thumping a little faster than normal, but probably far better than when he’d first knocked on Lance’s door.

As much as Lance wished Ryou wasn’t struggling, he was glad to be allowed to help.

Bit by bit, Ryou’s heart rate slowed down, and his breathing evened out.  Sleep didn’t come for Lance, but that was alright. 

He was exactly where he wanted to be.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild warning: This chapter definitely pushes the T rating, since these two get into some heavy petting and discuss sex, but no one so much as loses their shirt. So if that's your thing or no, up to you

As soon as the door closed behind them, Lance turned and pushed Ryou back.  He stumbled back a half step and hit the metal wall, eyes wide.

Lance followed after and took hold of Ryou’s shirt in his hands, then pulled him down into a fierce kiss.  Ryou’s lips were already swollen and sensitive against his, from where they’d gotten distracted during their movie.  So Lance gave a firm nip, just to see what Ryou would do.

Crying out, Ryou grabbed hold of Lance’s hips and pulled him in close.  “Mean,” he accused, smiling against Lance’s lips. “That hurt.”

“Aww, poor Ryou,” Lance cooed back, eyes bright with mischief.  “Want me to kiss it better?”

Ryou let out a snort.  “You’re ridiculous.” Then he leaned forward and bit Lance’s lip right back.  A bolt of heat shot through him, pooling in his stomach.

Shoving forward, Lance pushed Ryou farther into the wall.  Then he bit down on his jaw and down his neck, taking full advantage of the pale skin to leave bright marks.  They’d fade soon, but Lance liked seeing them. “What about this? Is this mean?” He rocked forward, rolling their chests and hips together.

“A little.  But I don’t mind.”  Ryou’s fingers slid up, pushing at the edge of Lance’s shirt.  The very tips slipped under and brushed against bare skin. Both fingers were warm, though the metal ones were closer to room temperature.  

Lance’s brows rose as he looked Ryou over.  “Hm. Interesting.” That was a conversation he’d like to have, but maybe not right now.  They’d barely done more than enthusiastic kissing so far. As often as Ryou had spent the night or vice versa, it had always been for an emotional reason, or just because they fell asleep together.  Never for anything more heated.

Today probably wouldn’t change that.  Lance was enjoying their lazy pace. It gave Ryou plenty of time to figure out what he liked rather than what he remembered through Shiro, and there was no rush.  They were together, and they were happy. If the worst happened on a mission, Lance’s regret wasn’t going to be that he’d never had sex with Ryou.

The regret would be that he never said ‘I love you’.

Lips crashed against Lance’s, taking advantage of his momentary lapse in concentration.  “Oh, no, I like my boyfriend getting in close and kissing me hard,” Ryou cried, slumping dramatically against the wall.  “Who could have ever guessed such a dirty secret.”

“Oh, shush.”  Lance poked him in the stomach, just to watch him jolt.  “I’m surprised you haven’t tried to turn it around, yet, that’s all.”

“Mmm, I’m waiting till you don’t expect it.”  Ryou slid his fingers up higher again, brushing against Lance’s sides.  “And when you’re nice and distracted, I’ll- getcha!” With that, he jammed his fingers under Lance’s armpits and startled to tickle.

Dammit, that shouldn’t have worked!  Lance knew all about sneaky tickling with his family.  But he’d been too distracted by Ryou’s low, heated voice and eager hands.  “Hey!” He tried to yank away, giggling, but Ryou’s hands were firmly caught in his shirt.  When Lance tried to jam his arms down, it just held Ryou in place. “Stop, stop!”

“Make me,” Ryou sing-songed back.  “I’ll stop for a kiss.”

“You don’t get kisses when you’re tickling me!”  Lance finally managed to stumble away, ducking when Ryou swiped for him.  He scrambled back and grabbed Ryou’s pillow, using it to fend off his boyfriend’s reaching hands.  “You fiend! Back! Back I say!”

Ryou only smiled wider.  “I thought you said you could take me.  Come on, then. ‘Oh, I fight dirty, Ryou.’  I’d like to see it.”

That smug jackass.  Lance threw the pillow, getting Ryou full in the face.  While he reached up to pull it off, Lance tacked him, sending them both crashing onto the bed.  Then, without thinking about it, Lance pinched Ryou’s nipple through his shirt.

Ryou groaned.

Freezing in place, Lance waited until the pillow was finally off Ryou’s face.  Under, his cheeks were faintly pink, which was the Ryou version of going bright red.

“You like that, huh?” Lance asked, his smile widening.  He ignored how is own cheeks and ears were warm with the force of his blush.  He hadn’t thought out his actions at all, but he couldn’t say he regretted it.  “A little sensitive there?”

The metal hand came up to cover Ryou’s face.  “Shut up,” he muttered, though he was smiling.

“Nope, I caught you fair and square.”  Lance kissed the back of Ryou’s hand, then gently pulled it away to smile at him.  “You’re lucky I didn’t try and tickle you back.”

Ryou met his eyes.  “I’m not ticklish,” he said, even and calm.

Yeah, right.  That poker face worked better when he wasn’t flustered the rest of the time.  

“I believe you,” Lance told him, all insincere cheer.  “I’ll never ever try to tickle you ever again.”

“I believe you, too.”  Ryou smiled at him, surprisingly soft.  “Alright, you caught me. Now what do you want to do?”

Lance opened his mouth, then closed it.  “You know, I don’t know. I didn’t think I’d get this far.”

“You-”  Ryou let out a snort, and then burst into open snickers.  “Of course you didn’t. Ridiculous, like I said.” He reached up and took hold of either side of Lance’s cheeks, then pulled him in for a kiss.  “Adorable, too.”

Lance melted into the kiss, his eyes falling shut.  “I’m not adorable. I’m smoking hot.” Then he pressed his forehead to Ryou’s.  “But do you know what you are?”

“What?”  Ryou tilted his head, giving his best devil-may-care grin.  “Debonair? Hilarious?”

“Distractible.”  With that, Lance took advantage of Ryou’s raised arms to jab his fingers under his armpits.

Ryou yowled and arched off the bed, immediately trying to turn away.  But Lance was more than used to tickling unruly nieces and nephews, so instead he dug his knees in to keep Ryou in place.

Still laughing, Ryou finally caught Lance’s hand and pulled them away, then used that to drag him down.  Lance flopped down hard, landing so his chest was on top of Ryou’s. He didn’t even bother to struggle, just grinned smugly.  

“You shouldn’t dare me,” Lance said.

“I really shouldn’t.  I’m no match for you.”  Ryou kissed between Lance’s brows, smiling softly.  “You sneaky jerk.”

“You started it.”

Ryou just shrugged.  “Doesn’t make you less of a sneaky jerk.”  He pulled back, face still flush from laughing, his smile wide.  But there was something serious in his eyes. He let go of Lance with one hand to run his thumb along Lance’s bottom lip.  “It’s why I love you.”

Breath catching, Lance stared at Ryou.  He only smiled back, eyes still liquid and warm.

“You- What did you just say?”  Lance’s heart picked up, thumping so hard it felt like his ribs would crack.

Ryou shrugged.  “I said I love you.  Or, really, I said you being a sneaky jerk is why I love you.  Which isn’t true. It’s just one reason.”

How could he say all this so casually, yet still be sincere?  Ryou was squeezing Lance’s heart with each word, and he was just smiling like he was talking about the weather.

Surging forward, Lance pulled him into a fierce kiss.  “You stole it! I was going to say it. You beat me to it, and _ I’m _ the sneaky jerk?”

“You had plenty of chances,” Ryou pointed out, matching him kiss for kiss.  “I didn’t know it was a competition. If I had, I would have told you weeks ago.  But it seemed weird to say so early.” He paused, eyes wide, then looked away. “It’s probably weird to say that too.  Um.”

“Me too!”  Lance cupped Ryou’s cheek, bringing his gaze back.  “Since the start. But we’d barely started dating, so that seemed way too fast.”

Slowly, awe bloomed behind Ryou’s eyes.  “Really?” When Lance nodded, he let out another wild burst of laughter.  “We’re both so bad at this. It’s a good thing we’re dating each other, and not inflicting ourselves on anyone else.”

“Sounds like it.”  Lance grinned back and kissed the tip of his nose.  “Hey, Ryou?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

It was amazing, to watch the play of emotions across Ryou’s face.  There was awe, and joy, and mischief, and warmth. Then, finally, it settled into a fond security.  He looked comfortable in his own skin, in their relationship, and in where they were right then.

Months ago, Lance had looked into this man’s face, seeing him as his own person for the first time.  He’d been dark-haired, unsure, scared, and nameless.

The difference was startling.  Not every step on the way here was good, but all of it came together to make them better.

This was what Ryou looked like when he was happy and secure.  And it was Lance who had made him feel that way.

“I love you too,” Ryou replied, so low it was nearly a rumble.  “I have for a long time, in different ways. But I like this one best.”

Lance smiled back, his chest full and warm.  “Yeah. Me too.” He took Ryou’s hand and threaded their fingers together.  “I love you even though you didn’t get me the harem you promised.”

For a moment, Ryou’s brows came together.  Then he barked out a laugh. “You were sick!  You would have gotten the harem sick too. So I did the right thing.”

“What about since then, huh?”  Ryou pecked on either side of Ryou’s lips, then the middle of his brow.  “You’ve had plenty of time. Weeks. Where’s my harem, Ryou?”

“Well, I’m it, so far.  It’s not that I didn’t get you a harem, it’s that it’s a really bad one.”  The corners of Ryou’s eyes crinkled with the force of his smile. “If you really want, maybe there are more clones around.”

Lance opened his mouth, then let out a snort.  “Oh jeez. Does that mean I have to offer Shiro an invitation to my harem?”

They both paused and their eyes met.

Then they broke into renewed peals of laughter.  “Do it! Please. Please do it.” Ryou covered his eyes as he laughed helplessly, gasping out the words between breaths.  “I need you to do it.”

“I’ll make him a special invitation.  Printed on glossy paper.” Lance snickered gleefully.  “Imagine him reading it over, so serious, as it slowly dawns on him what he’s reading.”

“Stop!  I can’t breathe!”  Ryou rolled over, curling in on himself as he continued to gasp.  “Oh, shit. I need to be there.” His eyes brightened impishly. “I could wear a collar and wink.”

Lance let out a howl, falling over onto his side as well.  “Oh my god. That’s awful.” He smacked Ryou on the shoulder and buried his face into the sheets.  “Let’s do it. I’m totally serious.”

“Don’t.”  Ryou wiped over his eyes.  “It’d take him days to look me in the eyes again.”  He let out another giggle. “I really want to, though.”

“Why not?”  Lance threw an arm over Ryou’s waist and beamed at him.  “Maybe he’ll be flattered. And then I won’t have to pretend like I don’t know about his kinks.”

Ryou shook his head, trying to hide his grin in the sheets.  “It’s such a bad idea.” But he cracked his eye open. “You don’t really know my kinks anyway.”

“You like being pushed into the wall,” Lance drawled, kissing him.  “I know that.”

Delightfully, Ryou’s cheeks went faintly pink again.  “Maybe. That’s just one little thing, though.”

“Well, then maybe I should learn more.”  Lance smiled and bit over his bottom lip again.  “Just so I can use it against your brother.”

Ryou eyed him, trying to keep his expression stern.  “Okay, enough about Shiro.” He took hold of Lance’s hips and pulled them so they were aligned.  Then he pressed their lips together and kissed Lance deeply and throughly. “That’s not the Shirogane I want you thinking about.”

“Well, if I just call you Mr. Shirogane-”

Rolling his eyes, Ryou kissed him again, time until Lance totally forgot what he’d been teasing about.  When he pulled back, his eyes were warm and fond again. “It’s a good thing I love you so much.”

“Mmm, same to you.  Keep reminding me why.”

With a snort, Ryou kissed him again.

As if Lance could have forgotten why he loved this man.  But he had no problem with this particular method of reinforcement.

But he was definitely going to make that harem invitation later.  Just in case. And some time thinking about Ryou in a collar. Purely for prank purposes.

For now, Lance had better things to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick epilogue, because I had to. Enjoy this pure, unadulterated fluff


End file.
